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24th October 2015
09:34pm BST
We've been caught deep-stalking, and now everyone will know.
Here are the 25 thoughts we have when deep-stalking our crush on Facebook.
5. I must boil the kettle now for a nice cuppa, this could take a while.
6. First things first, stalk myself to see how I look from his point of view.
7. Now, I'm just going to do that one more time because I forgot to click the "view as" button.
8. I feel sad that I wore those tights on my arms.
9. Right mister, let's have a look at you.
10. Now, to find the most recent ex. First stop, profile pictures.
11. Sister, friend, friend, mother, EX- GIRLFRIEND. Bingo.
12. I'll just have a quick look over on her page.
**Ten minutes later and you're looking through a 2009 album of her family skiing trip.**
13. Ha. That is SUCH the ultimate beginner's slope. She can't even ski.
14. I better call the roomie in to laugh at this. And bring me more tea.
15. Ahh, she slammed the door. I am NOT in a position to be startled.
16. I am actively internet stalking and I am six years back on his ex-girlfriend's ALBUMS. Not tagged pictures - ALBUMS.
17. Right, I'll let her have a little look.
18. AH AH, do NOT touch the phone. I will hold, you will look.
19. Her foundation is lovely - Estee Lauder. I'm just going to write that one down.
20. What am I thinking? NO written evidence. Memorise.
21. Right, I'm seven years back. Keep hands, feet and utensils away from the screen.
22. I have a notification. WHAT IS IT. HAVE I MADE HER FACE MY PROFILE PICTURE?
23. No, it's just my status. Breathe. Or actually don't. Your breath might set something off.
24. I've liked a picture of her cousin's communion day from 2007. Sweet baby Jesus, I've liked it.
25. Blocked and deleted. Account deactivated. Phone off. Aer Lingus website - I'm moving.
