

2.I thought I saw The Hamburglar on the street but it was just some other hamburglar
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) July 1, 2016
Working on my new impression, "drummer having a blast." Keep an eye out for "guitarist who's really feelin' it." pic.twitter.com/kJyThg6reg — Ana Fabrega (@anafabregagood) July 2, 20163.
4.[normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats…32 shirts
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) July 5, 2016
And the award for best "Friends" extra goes to woman who sips coffee then chews it. pic.twitter.com/LQtycvoS9w — Nick Turner (@NicksTurners) July 6, 20165.
6.These bags of potatoes were left in a car unattended with all windows shut. They'll turn into chips in this heat. pic.twitter.com/f4pyNsnPFv
— esthero'mooredonohoe (@estheromd) July 7, 2016
I don't trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say 'press', but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised.. — Milton Jones (@themiltonjones) July 9, 20167.
8.Paul McCartney's new album looks great. pic.twitter.com/VTfSky7AKd
— MAGIC TRAMPS (@Elliot_Eastwick) July 9, 2016
Nothing quite says "Chinese, xfactor, missionary for 10 minutes then bed" quite like a couple going to a Kodaline gig together — Adam (@RummHammm) July 9, 20169.
10.be the change you want to see in the world pic.twitter.com/x5CjWXJgHz
— christen (@christenrhule) July 11, 2016
The women look like they're having so much fun in these tampon adverts I might start using them myself. — Ben Cameron (@ben_cameron) July 14, 201611.
12.if matilda was so smart how come that woman in the library (the librarian) had to tell her she was allowed to take books home ?
— Patrick (@PrayForPatrick) July 14, 2016
Me making new life plans every time I have a hangover pic.twitter.com/qEuAX6noqL — Ana Kinsella (@anakinsella) July 16, 201613.
14.God *giggling*: They are gonna be so tiny.
Angel *writing*: ants... tiny... got it. God *suddenly tearing up*: but omg so strong. — spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) July 17, 2016
This. This is my masterpiece.https://t.co/rY07ji8FMz — Jen Lewis (@thisjenlewis) July 19, 201615.
At first glance, I thought this headline was a weirdly light-hearted obituary pic.twitter.com/J1uBO1QH9v — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) July 22, 201616.
wow huge congrats to toilet pic.twitter.com/nHIpiHBd3i — becca t (@beccaandthebox) July 22, 201617.
This cigarette packet started singing Fairytale of New York at me? pic.twitter.com/Uza82pT7tY — John Brennan (@UpturnedBathtub) July 25, 201618.
my dad has just taken dad jokes to a whole new level pic.twitter.com/S7pklb4EhX — jess (@enterjeshikari) July 26, 201619.
saw your boyfriend putting his headphones back in their little purse — mutable joe (@mutablejoe) July 27, 201620.
Atlantis Dolphin Bay Instructor: "Gently kiss the dolphin" My nephew: pic.twitter.com/KIbnWicb8e — Hxssxin (@gothamsbatman) July 28, 2016
