Shifty First Dates – The Her.ie Guide To Dating In Ireland: Feast Or Famine

In this weekly feature, Her.ie goes behind enemy lines to see what it’s really like to be single in Ireland. From speed dating to making speedy escapes, our no-holds-barred blog will follow our attempts to venture into the dating jungle, play the field and share any wisdom that we finds along the way.

---

Week Forty: Feast Or Famine Some people hate January but I've always been a fan as it's a great opportunity to start afresh, try different things and attempt to stick to all those resolutions that we failed at last year. After having my patience severely tested by Tinder towards the end of last year, I got a little lazy when it came to the dating game and returned to my very relaxing evening routine of tea, wine and my well-worn couch. It was when I realised I had bonded more with my onesie that any man I can recall that I decided it was time to get those glad-rags on and resume fraternising with the male population. Having heard your glowing reports of POF, I decided to focus on this and spent a few weeks chatting with some of my fellow users. While I was hoping for some witty banter and date prospects (or, you know, a Tom Hardy lookalike), things started very slow and anyone I actually seemed to get on with seemed to do a disappearing act before we actually got to planning a date. Lesson One: If there's anyone you're really keen on, strike while the iron's hot as it's easy to get distracted!. Consistency seems to be the key here, as many users of the site only tend to message those who they can see are online. If you're online more, you're more likely to get more invitations to chat and I definitely noticed a difference once I became a little more diligent about logging in. Anyway, after a week or two of chat, I somehow ended up with three dates in the one week! Lesson Two: Feast or a famine, ladies. Feast or famine. Date One This was with someone that, I have to admit, I didn't overly fancy but he seemed lovely and we had lots in common. After a convo with my friends recently, we all realised that we have a very definite 'type' when it comes to dating and it sure as hell ain't working. So, we vowed to make a conscious effort to try dating guys that we wouldn't necessarily go for on first instinct. In the lead-up to the date, I was a little apprehensive but once he arrived (looking cuter than in his photos), the conversation started to flow. We talked easily for an hour or two before we went our separate ways but while I would be delighted to be friends, there was definitely no spark there. Story of my life The litmus test for me is whether you want them to lean in for a kiss at the end. If you do, they get a second date. If not, it's probably not going to go anywhere. Date Two Onwards and upwards, tonight's date is definitely more my type and seems well travelled and fairly interesting. However, the lack of banter in our conversations has me a little concerned. We're meeting for a drink in town after work and if I've gone out in freezing weather for a date with Fr Stone, I will not be happy.   Date Three To round off, the weekend holds a coffee date with a musician type who seems pretty promising so I will be back to report on Volumes 1 & 2 of this week's dating adventures next Wednesday. I had initially thought that going on three dates would guarantee that one would be good but now I've started to realise that this logic means one will probably be a stinker as well - stay tuned! In other news... One of the most annoying part of any date is figuring out an outfit and we've all had those temper tantrum 'I have nothing to wear' moments. Well ladies, one of our readers recently grilled her male friends about the' do's and don'ts' of date night outfits and here was the priceless response... And with that, until next week - happy dating! We want to hear your dating stories! Send us an email to hello@her.ie or tweet us @Herdotie with the #shiftyfirstdates.