They Want To Add These Crazy New Flavours To A Milk Tray Box And It’s A Travesty

Here are some universal facts about Christmas. We eat too much. We insist we’re full and then open a pack of crisps. There is always a box of Milk Tray or tin of Roses floating around the sitting room. And there’s always a fight over certain chocolates. Who gets the caramel heart? But you got the last strawberry one? Where’s the fudge square? What we can all safely agree though, is that at no point does somebody wish they’d designed a kale or beetroot chocolate. In the most disturbing news revealed by The Telegraph today *ok, we may be slightly exaggerating*, the scientists in charge of flavours at Milk Tray are now looking at including vegetable fillings to appeal to the more health-conscious consumer. So what’s on the possible menu swap? Wasabi cream, kale and beetroot jelly-flavoured fillings. Explaining the bizarre, and frankly unwanted additions to the collection, Milk Tray’s head of product development, Dave Shepherd said: “Beetroot is one of the ways you can get the red colour without using artificial colourings. “Kale is more of a gamble, but people are much more health orientated and crispy kale is already being eaten by some as a substitute for crisps. Ten years ago, nobody would’ve thought chilli chocolate would work.” While we can safely guarantee that none of the apparent new flavours will be rattling in your box this festive season, we can’t make the same promise next year. We’d rather just do the fake juice diet for the first of January and go back to eating pizza by 8pm. Just don’t mess with the chocolate.