If you’ve ever been kneaded repeatedly by a stranger while nude for an extended period of time, you’ll be more than well aware of the beauty of a full body massage.
They’re beautiful, they’re intense, and they require the absolute ability to switch off and submit to chilling out to the max for a while.
Which is exactly why I’d never had one before.
It wasn’t so much the fact that I didn’t like the idea of someone touching me for an hour and 45 minutes (I did), or that I didn’t think my body was tense enough to need one (it is), but more so that going for a massage was never something I’d considered doing.
Unwinding tended to feature me lying in bed anxiously waiting for the next episode of Power to play on Netflix, or going hard in the gym in an attempt to sweat out my problems, or just complaining to somebody about how questionable everything in my life is going even though everything is legitimately fine.
A chilled out massage just wasn’t an option – until it was, and I was changed forever.
The treatment in question happened down at the stunning, divine, and all the other synonyms you can think of that mean ‘very nice’ Farnham Estate Spa and Golf Resort in Cavan.
The venue itself in a bit of trek in fairness (unless you happen to live in Cavan and if so, then good for you), but if there is anything more relaxing then finishing up a massage and being greeted with acres of fields, woods, and wine, then I’ve yet to experience it.
The massage was called a ‘Lavender Lullaby’ and it used warm lavender-infused herbal poultices and aromatherapeutic oils to make my entire body feel like a genuine cloud, floating above and beyond everything awful and questionable in the world like war, conflict, and Adam from Love Island.
For one whole hour and 45 minutes, I was given a Balinese body, facial, and scalp massage using ESPA products that smelled like a combination of flowers and total happiness concentrated.
Within about five minutes of starting, I felt more relaxed than I had in about six months and absolutely would have fallen asleep if I didn’t want to miss out on being conscious for the rest of what was happening.
Afterwards, my therapist told me to relax for the evening and not to do anything too strenuous. So naturally I went to drink copious amounts of cocktails and eat my weight in food.
It was a Saturday night like, it’s grand.
I would like to say that after the massage I felt like I had ‘died and gone to heaven’ but that might be a tad dramatic so I’ll just go with ‘was super relaxed and couldn’t really feel my legs but in a good way’ instead.
It took me a long time (45 minutes) to adjust to the outside world after spending the afternoon in my cocoon of nice smells and total flaked-out-ness, but eventually I got used to the idea of being a real human being again.
Except now I had no knots in my back.
Stunning.
*The ESPA Lavender Lullaby treatment is available at Farnham Estate Spa and Golf Resort for €150.
**This treatment was received on a complimentary basis on behalf of Farnham Estate.
