Lips, am I right?
We’re in peak lip chapping weather right now and it is terrifying.
Every day is a struggle to keep those lips moist, so let’s delve into the deep rooted psychological influences on why you’ve purchased a certain type of lip balm.
Carmex
You’re a very organised and neat person. Mexico is your favourite city and you hope to take a roadtrip there at some point. Your lips don’t chap very often, but when they do, you’re very methodical and level-headed in your approach to tackling the issue at hand. Shrek 2 didn’t particularly appeal to you.
Vaseline
This needs to be sub-categorised:
Pink Vaseline
You’re an image-conscious lady, little bit of a divil on a night out, known for an occasional cheeky shift. Sure why not? Isn’t life for living, says you?
Blue Vaseline
You’re basic. Michael Kors watch, bi-monthly shellac appointments and quinoa for lunch. Your basic little lips need basic care and that’s exactly what you give them. No shame in it. We all have basic tendencies.
Brown Vaseline
Times are tough. You got your Vaseline as part of a Christmas set and by Christ you’re going to get the use out of it. You can be a bit tight with money and your lips reflect that. Cop on.
Green Vaseline
NERD! Aloe Vera has an abundance of healing properties and you’re well aware of it. The chemist recommended this particular brand of Vaseline to you once and you heeded every bit of advice. You probably call it petroleum jelly as well, nerd.
Burt’s Bees
You’re a bit of a wild one. Nobody can tie you down with your wreckless lip care. You tend to live a spontaneous life, there’s only one thing that keeps you grounded – a sufficiently moisturised lip. You’re a very open and sharing person, which isn’t without its dangers. Sharing lip balms can lead to cold sores, so be careful!
Eos
Take a break from being so on-trend, please. You are a fashionista. Xposé are constantly banging on your door asking you to work for them. The latest trend usually reaches the world about six weeks after you’ve discovered it. Your house is full of magazines and your phone is constantly being inundated with Instagram follow requests (you had to put it on private because too many people were stealing your style, dead right).
Juicy Tubes
Get with the times girl, you are living in the past. JTs haven’t been cool since about 2004 when they sold the miniature ones that you could attach as a charm for your flip phone. You’re still wearing parachute pants and bandanas. It’s time to smarten up. Throw out that Baby G watch and rejoin the human race. Come on, you can do it.
[Pic via Promo Cosmetics]
