This week, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge did a Zoom call.
That’s it, that’s the article.
Kate and Will took to the World Wide Web to prove to everybody that they are, indeed, still fulfilling their royal duties from the safety and comfort of their home.
They’re just like us, you see. They also communicate exclusively via the net now. In a palace.
If you’re at all interested in how the call went you can watch it over here – but I’m not interested in how the call went, I’m interested in what the call means, and what grievances I in particular have with it.
And also whether or not the royals suffer the same amount of connection issues as us peasants (spoilers: they do).
So let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
General concerns
Right off the bat, it’s almost impossible not to notice the sheer number of people in these Zoom calls.
Groups of children! In school? Standing within 2m of one another?! Not in this climate.
A quick read of the Kensington Palace Instagram post, however, confirms that the children are in fact part of Casterton Primary Academy, a school that has remained open to allow NHS workers to continue to go to work.
This is fine. Nothing untoward here. Moving on.
Kate speaks (!)
If this expertly chopped together video has taught me anything it’s that I had never heard the Duchess of Cambridge speak before. Not once.
In fairness, I may very well have not been seeking such content prior to this exercise, but her dulcet tones have come as a surprise nonetheless. A revelation I didn’t know I needed. A distraction from the world outside.
Kate also refers to herself as ‘Catherine’ throughout the video, which is both surprising and entirely indicative of the fact that the royal family are ~very posh.
This we know. It is not surprising.
There is a young boy who looks how we are all feeling
Jovial Easter fun? Nah mate, we’re in the pandemic.
Finally, Kate and Will’s Zoom call video has presented us with a character we can relate to – a young man who isn’t simply smiling and waving around a piece of art he has drawn, but one who knows all too well the reality of the climate we find ourselves in.
He will wear his bunny ears for the royals, but he will not be happy about it.
Will ate all the chocolate
As the video nears its close, Kate lets slip that Will has been eating “all” of the chocolate.
A bold statement from a woman who previously during this Zoom call also laughed heartily when her husband mistook an Easter egg basket for a handbag.
What had Will done to deserve such a cruel and calculated bodying so frequently for all to see? Did he truly deserve to be roasted via Zoom like this?
We may never find out.
A stark reminder of why we are here
Finally, the social distancing content that we’ve been waiting for.
Lest we forget why the Duke and Duchess are carrying out a Zoom call for the purposes of their work, we are in the midst of a pandemic that can only be tamed by staying away from one another.
Thankfully, some people in this Zoom video are doing a swell job of that, as per the below screenshot.
A positive influence on the nation, the leaders the UK deserve, a glimmer of hope amongst the madness – minus the bunny ears, maybe.
