Why are men like this?
Love Island's Casa Amor always acts as a form of exposure.
It exposes weak couples, it draw attention to cracks, it tests romances in ways they may never have been tested before.
It also exposes men as being, well, arguably The Worst™ when lumped together without the women they have pined over for the past month or so by their sides, triggering a form of 'you do you, bro' mob mentality that could only make sense amidst the safety of a highly produced reality TV show.
On the inside, they seem to make sense of their decisions. On the outside, we're screeching at our TVs wondering how in the name of God Dami thinks he's ever going to get better than Indiyah Polack.
For the purposes of this piece, let's not stray far beyond the confines of Casa Amor, or rather, the last three (3!) days on the show. Those mere few hours of TV have reminded every woman in the UK, Ireland, and beyond just how disloyal men can be.
'Out of sight, out of mind' takes on a new meaning in Casa Amor. These men suffer from an inability to achieve object permanence. Remove a woman and they are wont to forget she exists. They've got a shiny, new girl to play with. They'll suffer the consequences when their partner comes home. Your worst nightmare fella's lads holiday could never.
This year, the boys didn't even leave the villa. They simply sat, waiting for six beautiful women to walk through the door and into their beds. And isn't that the point of Casa Amor? Doesn't it exist as the 'ultimate test', designed to tempt the couples to stray, to force them to consider whether they are truly happy or if they have settled?
It does, and yet, if Casa Amor is a test, it's clear that every single one of those boys (bar Luca) has failed.
Let's start with a man whose attitude has been questionable at best since day one - Jacques. A bombshell who was sent in specifically as Gemma's ex of two years (she's 19, lest we forget), he made a beeline for Paige who he has since dubbed "pathetic."
In fairness to Jacques, he has been one of the least problematic boys on the show this week. Sure, he's cracking on with a new gal while Paige cries in Casa Amor over how she doesn't think she sees any red flags with him (girl), but at least he's not sneaking up to the terrace on night one. At least he's not moving mad. At least his head hasn't turned so many times that it's close to snapping off from his neck altogether.
Dami, my friend, we were all rooting for you. We were hoping your Dublin charm would work on Indiyah. We were keen for you to turn your microscope in her direction. And now that it has, and now that she's away, you've been running amok in the villa, claiming you still really like her, while actively kissing someone else.
But hey, it's a test right? How else are you going to know if you like one girl unless you're wrapped around another in the pool?
Then there's Andrew. Confused, spontaneous, and entirely unsure as to what he wants. Andrew has been with Tasha since the start, and hey, maybe he shouldn't be. He clearly likes her more than she likes him. He clearly let her walk all over him. He clearly needed six stunning women to give him some perspective.
But now that he has it, he's unrecognisable. He hasn't just cracked on with Coco, he's signed their marriage licence. He's dropping the "Tasha who??" line as if he hasn't been infatuated with this girl for four weeks. He's lost the run of himself, and judging by Wednesday night's preview, things look set to finally come crashing down around him.
But what about the girls? Haven't they been playing away too? Didn't they all jump into bed with the new boys, claiming to be snuggled up next to one another "as friends"? Aren't they just as bad?
Well, no, not really because the girls have tact. They don't take the piss. They, for the most part, aren't disrespectful. Their attitude once they left the villa wasn't "The Boys, who??" It was "Oh fun, new men, but also, The Boys exist." If they're questioning their relationships it's because they probably should have been all along, not because they've got some new boys to play with.
All in all, Casa Amor has been a shit show. An entertaining shit show, but a shit show nonetheless. Is this what all lad's holidays are like? Why do men act this way? Why do men in general?
These are the questions we may never know the answer to - and honestly, we probably don't want to know either.
Love Island continues tonight at 9pm on Virgin Media Two.