Ah, autumn.
It can only mean one thing. No, not leaves falling off trees, the changing seasons or scarves being back on sale. Autumn only points to one thing and one thing only – the return of the PSL.
Or, as she is more commonly known, the pumpkin spice latte.
And while the vast majority of the population are all about the overpriced sugar syrup based coffee purely for aesthetic reasons, we’re not really all that invested in the hype (it’s no eggnog latte, are we right?).
So in order to refute the ever-growing popularity of the PSL, we’ve decided to put together a comprehensive list of things that definitely taste way better than the nation’s (Caucasian girls’) favourite coffee*.
This is it:
1. A regular latte
What happened to just wanting some coffee and some milk and going about your day?
Why does the humble pumpkin – icon of Halloween and cultivar of squash – need to get involved? When did it become acceptable to equate a sugar-based syrup with a delicious fruit?
It didn’t.
2. That lad you swiped right on on Tinder last night
He won’t reply to your messages, but you matched girl, and that’s enough.
3. Freshly squeezed orange juice that’s gone a bit warm
There’s pulp there and it’s all settled at the bottom of the glass, but you know what lads, it’s still drinkable.
4. Cool Original Doritos
The best of all the Doritos flavours, let us confirm.
And sure a bag of these boys won’t exactly wake you up in the morning but they’re about half the price of of a PSL and you won’t even need to Instagram it so they’re a decent enough shout.
5. Those green tea frappuccinos that Starbucks do sometimes
This piece does not exist to body Starbucks.
Rather the contrary as the popular coffee shop chain sell a plethora of drinks that are simply more delicious and better value than a pumpkin spice latte.
The above beverage is one of them, just saying.
6. Left over cold pizza feat. garlic dip that has a bit of a skin on
Controversial.
7. A legitimate pumpkin
Don’t even pretend for a second Karen that your obsession with the PSL has anything to do with actual pumpkins. It doesn’t.
You’ve probably never cracked open one of the authentic orange lads because let me tell you – they do not taste like pumpkin spice lattes. If they did, you would not want that shit in your coffee.
Just your soup, pies, quiches, etc.
8. Over ripened banana
‘Nuff said.
9. The taste of revenge as the lad who ghosted you only gets 7 likes on his latest Instagram
Who’s a bit much now, Conor?
*Disclaimer: we’re all obsessed with pumpkin spice lattes and despite this rather cutting list, will continue to purchase them every day before work, thanks.
