One Redditor t-away man recently decided to sit down and have the awkward talk with his children.
He wanted to speak to his 13 and 15-year old children about sex – and what it means to actually be ready to do the deed.
While the conversation might cause some foot shuffling and red flushes, this father of two knows that if he doesn’t have this conversation, someone else might.
But to persuade his children, rather than educate them.
The father of two explained in his post:
‘I am a father of a boy(13) and a girl(15). I told them that it was alright for them to be sexually active as soon as they were “ready”. I then went on the say what “ready” means.’
Listing four signs of being ‘ready’ to have sex, he continues:
1) mature enough to be open about it.. no sneaking around.. if they’re not mature enough to talk to me or their Mom about it, they’re not ready.
2) Mature enough to wait until they develop full trust in their partners… start slow and work your way from holding hands and talking to kissing, touching etc. That gives you time to really know your partner, develop trust and a measure of real affection not just infatuation and lust (don’t get me wrong.. I’m not putting down lust… it’s just not the best emotion for life decisions).
3) Mature enough to understand the need for and to use condoms.
4) I also told them not to have sex in creepy places like school stairwells or behind the gym. They have perfectly good bedrooms with doors that lock and their friends will be welcome to stay for breakfast.
Not sure how the public would react to his comments, he later posted an update with the feedback, thanking people for their support:
‘I’m pleased and impressed with how much positive feedback I’ve received, especially from other parents who have implemented similar approaches and from young people who were raised to be sex positive.
I also saw a lot of responses from young people from sex prohibitionist households wishing that they weren’t.
Thanks all.’
While nobody can tell you when you’re ready to sleep with someone, there are some pretty good rules in there for anyone to follow if entering a new relationship.
Waiting to trust your partner, knowing how to protect yourself and doing it on your own terms are all lessons that are just as valid as any ‘sex ed’ class.
