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1st July 2019
07:17pm BST

2. "Hold on, I need to check the pollen count before I go to work today"
If it's at all high, management will just have to deal with the fact that I simply cannot be trusted to come in today.
This is my health we're talking about, after all.
3. "I look like a clown"
Tissue + nose = red.
Self explanatory.
4. "This is such a fucking waste of makeup"
Honestly, what is the bloody point of all of this foundation if I'm just going to snot it all off before the day even begins?
I am not made of money.
Nor am I secretly glad that hay fever has given me an excuse to look like total shit in the mornings, but hey, here we are.
5. "My throat is on fire, guess I have to eat all of the ice cream, oh well"
Not so much a complaint as a statement, I guess.
6. "I can't taste anything anymore... Just snot"
And mucous. And phlegm.
And whatever else has managed to find itself a new home inside of my body.
Illness is my friend now. No one else.
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