Search icon

Life

20th Mar 2016

Nine Shameful Things Only Your Best Friend Knows About You

Your middle name is what now?

Rebecca McKnight

There are a few things in this world that only your nearest and dearest gal pal will ever know. Whether it’s information you’ve made sure she’s the only one privy to, shared experiences the two of you have sworn never to tell anyone about, or those things only a bestie knows intuitively… she’s got you sussed. Here are ten things only your best mate will know about you. 

__________________________

Your full name

Your middle names are Assumpta Patricia Bernadette Theresa. She would tease you unmercifully about this, but hers are Constance Patience Grace Carmel. No one is a winner here.

Who you say your first kiss was

That super-cute neighbour’s cousin who visited in the magical first summer of your tweens.

Who your actual first kiss was

The dodgy neighbour himself, two years later and around the back of the local teen’s disco.

Your secret celebrity crush

You have a secret crush on Max from Eastenders. She’ll get the MAXimum enjoyment out of making awful puns, but your secret will stay safe with her.

The real story of how you met your boyfriend

To everyone else, it was a meet-cute that started with a spark, progressed with a date and grew into an epic romance. She knows you downed one too many Jagers, went home with Himself and it all just happened to work out for the best. Wins all round!

The one week a month when you should NOT be bothered

Chances are it’s the same week as hers, so you can wallow in the misery of being women together for three days a month and stuff your faces with ice-cream.

Your bra size

You may have a hundred boyfriends over the years, but will any of them be able to buy you underwear that fits? Your best mate will be able to judge your body as well as you can, maybe even better, and help you to shop accordingly.

The time you dyed your hair green/orange/grey by accident

She helped you fix it before anyone else saw it, but she took a picture first. For posterity.

 Your favourite karaoke song

A good friend will cheer you on when you leap on stage to attempt Total Eclipse of the Heart. A BEST friend will grab the second microphone. “Tuuuuuuuuuuuurn around…”