Some things in life are simple. For most people.
If you’re anything like us, however, these ‘simple things’ can get the better of you on an almost daily basis. WHY DO THEY MAKE IT LOOK SO EASY!
Here are ten so-called simple things that never happen the way they’re supposed to.
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Finishing your shampoo and conditioner at the same time
They’re sold in the same size bottle. You use them at the same time, and you’re pretty sure you use a similar amount of both. So WHY do you end up with one empty bottle and one still half full? Eternal mystery.
Opening a wine bottle with anything but a corkscrew
Sure, there are at least 10,000 YouTube videos showing exactly how to get that pesky bottle open with only a shoe and a wall for help, or a teaspoon that can get you out of a jam. In reality, you end up with (worst case scenario) shattered glass all over the shop, or (best case scenario) a corked bottle. Mmmm…Châteauneuf-du-Crap.
Kissing in the rain
In the movies, it’s the most romantic thing in the world. In reality, your hair is thirty seconds away from going full Monica, your mascara is halfway down your face and you’re really worried the handbag on your shoulder is open and your iPhone might drown.
Following lifehacks you learned from the Internet
Turn the toaster sideways to make a perfect toastie, they said. Be grand, they said. Three minutes later you have half a cheese toastie sliding down the nearest wall.
Only taking ‘five minutes’ to do anything
There is nothing in this life that truly only takes five minutes. Well, there’s one… but you’ll want that to take longer than five minutes.
Self-assembly furniture
IKEA was sent from on high to punish mere mortals.
Trying a new hairstyle
That blogger made it look so simple. Waaaait…
Flirting
In your mind you’re a modern, sophisticated woman, sparkling with charm and wit. And you have a way with words. What could possibly go wrong?
(Clue: everything. Everything could go wrong)
Camping
You’re off to one of the coolest festivals of the summer, and you’re all set. Brand new tent, cushy sleeping bags and all the supplies you’ll need for a weekend of sun and sessions. YAY!
In reality, you arrive to the destination three hours late, start on the tent as night falls and realise you forgot a flashlight only seconds later. By the time it’s finally up, all you want to do is sleep. You’ll see some headliners tomorrow. Probably.
Going out for ‘just the one’
Just uttering the words “I’m only staying for one” is enough to guarantee you’ll wake plus a pounding headache and the remnants of a kebab stuck to your face, and minus your wallet, phone and dignity.
