We are all extremely weird.
There’s lots of little things we do every day that have no logic behind them, yet we still continue to live our strange lives in this wholly inefficient manner.
Here’s ten ridiculous things that you probably do every day. Or maybe not. I don’t know you.
Open Mouth Mascara Application
OMMA is a serious and debilitating condition that is said to affect one in every three females. Nobody can decipher the logic behind it. Does it aid the application? Does it prevent nose breathing getting in the way? Unlikely. But it feels right.
TV Volume On An Even Number
Or an increment of 5. That’s important. It’s very likely a form of OCD, but for some reason watching the television is uncomfortable when the volume isn’t in accordance with your standards. Try putting it on an uneven number for a while. You’ll lose your mind.
Wet Toothbrush Before Toothpaste
Now this one is extremely illogical. You wet the toothbrush, apply the toothpaste, wet the toothbrush again, then get on with brushing your teeth. What is the purpose of the first wetting? Is it a pre-teeth-brushing Christening or something? We are morons.
via GIPHY
Open Fridge Multiple Times
Open the fridge. Close it. Go back to the fridge. Close it. Lower standards. Go back to the fridge. Close it. Let those standards hit rock bottom. Go back to the fridge. Devour a spoon of dijon mustard. Feel repulsed by your existence. Repeat.
Turn Car Radio Down When Parking
Specifically how does Ed Sheeran’s latest track impair your parking judgement? It simply cannot. Yet every time there’s a tight squeeze or an unusual manoeuvre, the first instinct is always to lower the radio. It doesn’t aid concentration in the slightest, in fact it just makes you more aware of your creepy parking breathing.
Wait For Phone To Reach 100%
We’ve all weaned ourselves off the Celtic Tiger way of life that involved leaving your phone to charge overnight. Now there’s a strict cut off before bedtime. That phone better reach 100% because sleep is in order. Why does it have to reach exactly 100% though? It’ll be down to 99% before you’ve the charger cable put away.
Fake Internal Arguments
Sometimes they’re based on real life arguments, but more often, they’re completely fabricated altercations that will probably never materialise. By Christ will you make your point heard though, get out the Thesaurus because this girl means business.
Ordering Diet Coke
You’re hungover. Nothing is curing your sad little body, so pizza is happening. You order the entire menu, along with a Diet Coke, under the false logic that it will counteract the 6,000 calories you are about to consume. Easily forgotten you had 17 regular Cokes last night!
Stopping The Microwave Before It Beeps
This is a recurring problem. What is it within our human minds that requires us to stop that silly little ping? If anything, it’s depriving our food of its important final second of heat. We are lunatics.
Buying Quinoa
Listen, we are never going to figure out how to cook it. It’s been tried and tested, which resulted in several pots having to be thrown in the bin. Quinoa is a myth. Move on.
