Twitter is life.
I spend a large portion of my day on Twitter, which I can now justify as research for this article.
Here’s 20 of the funniest Tweets I saw in January.
strippers who dress up as police and don’t say “FREEZE! L.A.P.D…a.n.c.e” don’t deserve their jobs
— kelly (@donlothario) January 1, 2016
Oi help have I woken up in a nursing home?? pic.twitter.com/M66BaJlHey
— jonny (@phatpunk) January 1, 2016
The “Things Q-Tips Can Do” section on the box is kinda messed up. pic.twitter.com/tJX3GwjHN9
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) January 2, 2016
Disney princesses reimagined as cement mixers pic.twitter.com/2CIlzadDJZ
— Pat Mustard (@ThrustBastard) January 2, 2016
The past tense of “tweet” is “twat”. Example: “I liked that tweet you twat.”
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) January 5, 2016
[everyone in the STI clinic glaring at my Pokemon shirt] “No no it means like, I want to catch all the Pokemon”
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) January 5, 2016
most specific fancy dress shop ever pic.twitter.com/B1OEZ8H6zo
— David O’Doherty (@phlaimeaux) January 7, 2016
The Marilyn Monroe of pigeons. pic.twitter.com/daz3qIvDA1
— Sarah Kavassalis (@sc_k) January 7, 2016
Jo Malone is the film where Macaulay Culkin smells fabulous
— John (@UpturnedBathtub) January 9, 2016
pal the only “meltdown” im having is my ice cream melting down into my hand while I lay on the beach & laugh while thinking about the trolls
— wint (@dril) January 9, 2016
yes, i am single. however, my commitment to the banter is a relationship that will last for eternity
— rebecca (@rbcakn) January 11, 2016
Please be the guy on the right x pic.twitter.com/jnRkvqIyZ5
— Sarah Coghlan (@chicknugget13) January 11, 2016
I can’t believe you killed alan rickman https://t.co/xJiFGebGkX
— gatorade video fan (@beansycast) January 15, 2016
Wait a minute, Kanye WAS saying she’s a Gold Digger!
— kirsten inneski (@kirstenin) January 19, 2016
What’s Eddie Redmayne gonna play next, a giraffe? Folks, what I’m saying here? He’s a show off. #Enough ?
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) January 20, 2016
@KimKardashian if you don’t workout I’ll kill myself
— ️️ (@madonnathot) January 21, 2016
I hate shopping at the Depression Store because they never have my sighs.
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) January 21, 2016
Queso here’s a cheese joke . . .
— Joel Ingersoll (@FlyoverJoel) January 22, 2016
New favourite game = finding Americans on Facebook that have no idea they are Corrie characters pic.twitter.com/Z1DWkXudoq
— martyn (@martynhett) January 25, 2016
The Revenant pic.twitter.com/2RRCpAA2yj
— Daniel (@dilsexia) January 26, 2016
