Today is national pet day.
It’s a day for loving for, caring for, and stroking your pets more than you usually would on a regular day.
And seeing as pets are the best of all the living creatures including humans, you’d have a hard time locating anyone who wouldn’t be at least mildly entertained by having one in their life.
My pet of choice is a free-roaming house rabbit named Moriarty.
There he is there, now.
Of course, Moriarty wasn’t always a free-roaming house rabbit.
Once upon a time (before he and I knew each other), Moriarty was just a regular old baby bun who had an abundance of potentials futures set out for him.
He could have been a caged rabbit, destined to live out his days chewing bars and looking sad, only being taken out for a play every once in a while when his owner felt like it.
Or he might’ve ended up being one of those outdoor rabbits who jumps around a run and eats lots of plants even though they shouldn’t.
But because Moriarty came home with me, he became a free-roaming house rabbit – essentially meaning that he wanders around the gaf doing whatever he likes and I am powerless to stop him.
I adore Moriarty with all of my heart, but sharing a bedroom with a loving, yet moody, rabbit is absolutely not what I expected it to be when I first brought the lad home all those years ago.
Here are 6 things I wish I’d know before Moriarty came into my life (and 6 things that I would never change about my pet.)
1. He may keep you up at night
Rabbits are loud.
Like, really loud.
They can’t make any actual noises organically but that doesn’t mean that they won’t make all the noise in the world with whatever is available to them.
And when you’re free-roaming, there are plenty of things available – like furniture to chew, shoes to throw around, and food to eat.
And, of course, the majority of this chewing, throwing, and eating will happen at night.
2. He will chew your room to pieces
See above.
Rabbit-proofing is a thing, look it up.
3. You will need to neuter him right away
Like, right away. Immediately. Do not waste any time because he will start humping everything you own and it will be a very stressful time for you both.
There will be times when you will stroll innocuously to the other side of the room and he will follow, grunting heavily as he struggles to mount your leg for the ninth time that day.
It will be then that you will decide to book him to get him fixed.
It’s for his benefit, after all.
4. If he gets mildly pissed off, he will shit everywhere
Look, Moriarty is trained, okay. He knows where he can and can’t go to the bathroom.
And yet, if that lad gets even slightly annoyed or stressed or scared, he will absolutely shit where he wants out of protest.
Have a friend stay over for the night? Moriarty will shit.
Let the plumber in to do a bit of work on the kitchen? Moriarty will shit.
Bring a lad back? Moriarty will shit.
Essentially, Moriarty will embarrass you until the end of your days and there is nothing you can do about it.
5. Sometimes he’ll share your bed and you won’t have a say in that
Sometimes, waking up in the middle of the night to find a rabbit sitting above your head is a pleasant experience.
Other times, it’s not.
But he will continue to do it, night after night, until he gets too lazy to jump up there himself.
At that point, you will miss him there, chilling out beside you, watching you sleep, scratching at the duvet covers with his claws because why not, he may as well destroy as many of your possessions as he can.
6. He will always be the star of the show
Think you’ll be able to invite people over to your home and be the centre of attention?
Think again because your small, yet slightly overweight rabbit will steal your limelight time and time again.
This is Moriarty’s world, and you’re just living in it.
