“I was out on a night with the girls and both of my potential one night stands fell through. I ended up in Coppers.
“I woke up with the biggest arsehole in the world. The condom broke and he said ‘Oh you better sort that’, saluted me and left.
“Do you think men should go halves on the morning after pill? Is there a clinical diagnosis for such rank behaviour?”
There is absolutely a clinical diagnosis for this kind of behaviour. It’s a condition called Totalscumbagosis and it’s actually pretty common in lads who have a thing for oversized vests and think that they need to wear extra large condoms.
Its symptoms are not easily identifiable, more commonly manifested in a love of snapbacks, mild confusion around the issue of consent, and a lack of consideration for women in general.
Now that that’s been sorted out, let’s consider this whole splitting the cost of the morning after pill issue.
Paying for contraception shouldn’t just be up to one person. It takes two to ride and it’s at least two people that are affected if birth control fails – whether indirectly or not.
This situation is less than ideal in itself, but a less than awful outcome would have involved him realising that the condom had broke, stopping the sex, and not just heading off to live the rest of his life while you stalled it down to the pharmacy to make sure that you don’t accidentally have to give birth to this asshole’s child.
He wasn’t just being inconsiderate either, he was being irresponsible.
If you couldn’t afford to pay the between €15 and €45 the morning after pill costs, there is a chance that you could’ve gotten pregnant. And whether that pregnancy continues or not maximises the issue so, so much more.
Being a decent human being doesn’t cost anything, but if being a responsible one – in this instance – costs about 15 quid, it’s surely worth it.
As we are all aware though, you can’t force someone to give you money for something – especially not if they’re an asshole, which this lad sounds like he absolutely was.
A condom breaking is nobody’s fault, but it shouldn’t just be a problem for women. Giving someone some cash to cover some of the cost of picking up the pill afterwards would be the sound thing to do.
In this case, the lad was just a complete dickhead but in other similar situations, it could also be possible that the guy genuinely wouldn’t think to help out a bit.
Asking for someone to half the cost of the morning after pill isn’t an unreasonable request. The potential outcome of not getting it would affect both of you, so really they should be jumping at the opportunity to ensure that you don’t get pregnant because of a contraception fail.
According to Refinery29, the vast majority of women feel they are footing the bill when it comes to birth control. This includes women who are in longterm relationships and those who are not.
The old excuse of ‘men buy condoms so women should pay for the pill’ just isn’t really relevant anymore.
If you’re a sexual active girl, chances are you’ve bought a box of condoms at some point in your life. You might even carry one with you whenever you’re on a night out just in case it’s needed. A lot of men do the same, sure, but are as many of them helping out cost-wise when it comes to non-barrier birth control?
Based on this guy’s post-condom-break salute, it’s fairly likely that he wouldn’t have given you any money towards the pill anyway. Because as we have already established – he is an asshole.
Not all lads are though. Some of them would cop on straight away that this isn’t something a woman should have to sort out herself. Others might not realise, but would absolutely be willing to drop half the cost if you asked them.
And then others would just go home and never give the situation a second thought because they are The Worst™.
It just depends on who ends up coming back to the gaff with you. At the end of the day, we can’t force men to go halves on contraception, but it would be nice if they realised that they’re just as involved in a condom break as we are.
Worried about going on a first date with someone new? Got some lad onto you who won’t take the hint? Are you being ghosted, breadcrumbed, or some other new form of dating trend? Just need somewhere to vent about everything that’s wrong with your love life? Same, to be honest.
Don’t worry though because at Her we’ve been there, we are still there, and we can maybe even give you some decent advice. At the end of the day, #ShiftHappens to all of us.
Send all questions here or email [email protected]. All submissions will be published anonymously.
