Life | 4 years ago
Rub It In! Mairead Farrell on Relaxation and a Very Strange Massage
It's fair to say that a masseuse is one professional you would expect to be quite 'hands on' with you. But just how familiar should those hands get?!

Last week on The Ray D’Arcy show we were chatting to a listener, Joe, and his wife Liz. They had never had a massage before, ever. So, with it being silly season, we decided to bring them in to studio and give them a massage - live on air.

The normally cold and lifeless meeting room was transformed by the masseuse from Monica Tolan’s Salon, who lit some candles and blocked off the windows, creating a warm and cozy vibe. Personally I love massages - I’d get one every week if I could. Generally, I try to get one when I’m away on holidays.

A few years ago, I was on holidays in Spain with my sister. By day three I was well and truly relaxed, and I decided to get myself a massage. I booked myself into a swanky 5 Star Spa for the back, neck and shoulder massage. 

When I arrived for my treatment, I was greeted by my therapist. It was a Male Therapist! I’d never had a ‘professional’ massage from a man, if you know what I mean… Anyway, he shook my hand and showed me to the treatment room, and left me to get ready. 

When he came back in, he asked me what I wanted. I said; ‘A deep tissue massage on my back, neck and shoulders.’ He started by tucking the towel into the top of my knickers - which is normal enough, but it all went a bit odd after that…

He gave me a gorgeous back massage, but every time he swooped down on my lower back he moved my knickers slightly lower, and then lower again. So, after five minutes, my knickers were just resting under my bum. 

The massage was so good, I kind of forgot that my bum was fully exposed.

He started massaging my bottom - and I mean REALLY massaging it; kneading it like it was two pieces of dough. Then he said; ‘Turn around’. I’m thinking; ‘this is odd… I asked for a back and neck massage and now he wants me to lie on my back?’ But, I did it anyway. He placed the towel across my boobs and stomach and massaged my neck. ‘Aaah… now I see why he got me to do that.’

Next, he moved his hands lower and massaged my stomach - putting more oil on and really giving it a good going over. At times he was lifting my mid-section by squeezing my waist. I was thinking; ‘this is all so odd, but I can’t ask him to stop - he’s a professional, and I’m enjoying it!’ 


Then he covered me up and started on my legs, and when I say legs I mean my thighs. That went on for a while until he covered me up. Then he took my hair bobbins out, ran his fingers through my hair and started scrubbing and scratching my scalp! 

Then it was all over. He brought me in a glass of water, said; ‘you should come back tomorrow for another massage’ and then he left. What?! 

The more I think about it, I’m not so sure it was a regular massage. I’ve never had one like it since. Well, not one I’ve paid for anyway! 

Come to think of it… my shoulders are a little tight at the moment, maybe it’s time for another one?!