In a new weekly feature, Her.ie goes behind enemy lines to see what it’s really like to be single in Ireland.
From speed dating to making speedy escapes, our no-holds-barred blog will follow one girl’s attempts to venture into the dating jungle, play the field and share any wisdom that she finds along the way!
Week Seven: Location, Location, Location
This has been a very mixed week on the dating front, as I have spent most of it talking to what seemed like a very promising guy on Tinder. Unfortunately, it turned out that he was one of these guys who is happy to make small talk for weeks on end but can’t seem to close the deal. Despite being given plenty of chances (and we’re not talking subtle hints here, ladies!), he refused to formalise a first date and instead kept trying to suss out where I would be on a certain night, hinting that he may be out with his mates around the same time and could drop in for a pint.
Now, I know you’re probably wondering why I didn’t just ask him out myself but while I am a strong opponent of taking control of the situation, I believe that how a man approaches asking a woman out and what they do for a first date tells you a lot about what you are dealing with. If they ask straight out and arrange something interesting, you may have a keeper. If their attempts remind you of how Fred West probably arranged to meet his victims, then maybe it’s time to move on.
So, after giving him a few chances, I decided it was time to cut my losses but despite trying numerous times and clearly explaining (very politely) why it was not going to work, I would be greeted the following day by a cheery text message that completely ignored the actions of the night before. Fairly sure that he wasn’t suffering from amnesia (other than the selective type), I had to start ignoring the messages and it still took five days and three unanswered texts before I could finally close the book on that one.
However, I did get asked out on another date this week by a friend of a friend who I bumped into on a night out. I didn’t know much about Paul* but after a pleasant chat and a pleasing inspection of his arms, I agreed to meet him for a drink after work. The night started out well as he told me all about his career, hobbies etc etc. As it was a week night, I sipped at my glass of wine but Paul didn’t seem so concerned and I soon noticed that he was working his way through his pints at a fairly alarming rate.
I’m not one to judge so the enthusiastic drinking wouldn’t have been a problem but with each glass that he downed, the mild-mannered accountant turned into a boorish, loud and obnoxious a**hole. Seriously, think Barney from The Simpsons.
I frantically text my mates asking to be rescued but at this point, it was midnight and they were tucked up in their beds (or being absolute bitches and laughing at my predicament!) and no help materialised. It was when Paul returned from the bathroom with what I suspect was the smell of vomit on his breath that I decided that politeness was no longer a factor and made a speedy getaway worthy of at least a cameo in Fast and Furious 6.
The inevitable apology text arrived the next day but I can’t see myself getting hot and bothered about someone after that first impression. Valuable lesson learned though – coffee is always a solid first date choice!
In other news, having headed on an unusual singles event last week, I decided to continue my exploration of unconventional dating by asking my friends where they had met some of their previous boyfriends. While most had the expected answers, I was surprised to hear that one or two of the girls had been asked out while on a trip to the bank and standing on the street outside Penneys.
The girls never followed up on these invitations and generally responded with the response ‘He could have been a bit of a weirdo!’, which flies in the face of one of the usual complaints against Irish men, namely that they only ever approach women when leathered in a sweaty nightclub. Maybe we don’t know what we want?
If you’ve been asked out in a strange situation, drop us a line on Twitter @Herdotie with the #shiftyfirstdates or email [email protected].
PS: I paid a little trip to 2FM this week to have a chat about being a single lady in Ireland and whether you are more likely to find the love of your life in Coppers or online, you can listen in here.
