Ten Things...Every Woman Does When She Meets A New Guy
You know the drill... you've bumped into a promising man on a Saturday night and really hit it off so it's time to begin the never-changing ritual of freaking out, getting excited, talking about nothing else and then freaking out again.
Here are ten things that every woman does when she meet a new guy.
1) Conduct a thorough Facebook stalk
While many of us will never admit it, Facebook is the first port of call when you meet a new man. Even if you're not that skilled in the ways of social media stalking, you probably have a friend who can pull up more information within five minutes that some of the CIA's best agents.
2) Show his photo to a friend
You've found him online and are relieved that he looks just as good as he did on the dancefloor in Coppers. However, one must always show the photo to at least one friend in order to make sure your hottie radar is still working and/or brag about the handsome fella that you just pulled.
3) Wait...and overthink
He took your number but it's been almost 24 hours and he hasn't got in contact yet. Maybe he looked you on Facebook and saw that really embarrassing photo from your friend's birthday party? Maybe you put his off by devouring that cheeseburger after the nightclub? Maybe he got hit by a bus?? Should you text him? Gah, decisions!!
4) Play it cool
He FINALLY text - woohooo! Of course, you can't let on that you've been checking your phone compulsively every five minutes. Instead, you talk about how busy you are with your fabulous, fabulous life.
5) Agonise over a date
You've been chatting for a few days and he now wants to meet for a drink but the last date you went on ended up being more boring than the Fair City omnibus AND you had to pay for a taxi after missing the last LUAS. He made a slightly strange comment yesterday as well. Maybe he's an axe murderer. Maybe you should just leave it. He's very cute though and seems pretty sound... feck it, better give it a go.
6) Take time to get ready
You haven't put this much effort into getting ready since heading to that wedding that you knew your frenemy from school was going to be at. You've it down to a fine art at this stage - hours on the hair and make-up but wear jeans and a top so you look like you woke up like this. Works every time.
7) Screen every guy that walks through the door
You're so nervous that you've ended up showing up early and have to sit for ten minutes wondering if each guy that comes in the door is your date. That photo was a bit blurry after all.
'Oh he's hot... no, he's meeting that model woman at the other end of the bar. Please say it's not that guy... phew! Oh, he's here! Not bad at all.'
8) Send a sneaky text to your bestie
She promised to bail you out if it all went horribly wrong so you have to keep her updated on the situation, right?
9) Meet said friend for drinks and a post-date post mortem
Every detail of the date from what type of shoes he was wearing to whether there was a good night kiss will have to be analysed for your friends because nothing beats some man gossip over a few glasses of wine.
10) Rinse and repeat
Went out last night, still no text. This is EXHAUSTING!!!