Our lives are incredibly busy, and we all know that being an adult is just constant menial tasks and chores that we truly despise doing.
Imagine, for one second how much more free time you would have if you could pay someone else to do all the boring shite that you get bogged down doing in day to day life. Bliss.
Calling The Revenue
It’s that time again, when you’ve started a new job or want to see if you can get a miraculous amount of tax back to afford to pay for the holiday you’ve already booked. The call looms closer. You end up on hold for about ten days, and you can no longer hear that automated voice without flying into a rage.
Situation Scope Out
Imagine you had someone who could text you to tell you that there’s a vague acquaintance from 1998 on the bus home and you should wait for the next one to avoid an awkward conversation? ‘Yeah, remember school?…Haha. Gas.’
Someone To Tell You To Stop Googling Illnesses
It’s the middle of the night and you have a stomachache. You’ve eaten a large Chinese but thanks to WebMD you are 100 per cent sure that you have toxic megacolon and begin to write your will. If only someone was there to gently shut your laptop, and whisper: ‘Stop.’
Someone To Summarise TV Shows You Don’t Have Time To Watch
Ok, so everyone at work/college is watching this big new show but you just don’t have TIME because you’re watching Gilmore Girls again and that’s far more important. Just think, someone could watch the shows FOR you and send you a lil text so you can look all knowledgeable at the watercooler. ‘Oh listen, they certainly did make a murder. That’s for sure.’
A Dishwasher Filler/Emptier
I would pay someone handsomely for this one.
‘Don’t Text Them’
You’re about four pints deep and in a feat of drunken idiocy, decide to message that person you fancy/fancied/went out with for a year/left at the altar. There should be some kind of bouncer to break your phone if you attempt this.
A ‘Cop On’ Provider
In any situation where you say something offensive or mean, someone should magically appear and sternly request that you ‘COP ON.’.
Someone To Wash The Porridge/Egg Pot/Pan
This is disgusting and I should never have to touch wet food in a sink as long as I shall live.
Someone To Laugh At All Your Jokes ImmediatelyWe know we’re gas, but sometimes a little mandatory reassurance wouldn’t be a bad thing.
Someone To Remind You To Nod Knowingly At Work Meetings
It’s very important to do this, even if the Cha Cha Slide is playing in a continuous loop in your head during a monthly reports pow-wow.
