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Life

19th Apr 2018

The Ugandan president is against oral sex and his reasoning leaves a lot to be desired

Jade Hayden

museveni oral sex

Oral sex is pretty great.

This is not a statement that warrants being refuted, debated, or even explained.

Everybody knows it, it’s grand, we enjoyed it and move on with our lives, furiously waiting for our next inevitable oral sex experience whenever we may be graced with its presence.

Anyway, as it turns out there’s one lad who’s not all that gone on oral sex.

He’s Ugandan president Yoweri Museveni, and he’s so against oral sex and all the vices that come with it that he decided to go ahead and give a little speech about why he doesn’t like it.

Most notably saying this sentence: “The mouth is for eating, not for sex.”

Yeah, whatever.

Museveni’s speech came as part of his lecture on activities being “promoted by outsiders” that he doesn’t want Ugandans to engage in.

He went on:

“Let me take this opportunity to warn our people publicly about the wrong practices indulged in and promoted by some of the outsiders.

“We know the address of sex, we know where sex is.”

Museveni signed Uganda’s anti-homosexuality act in 2014 which made it illegal to be gay in the country.

Despite what Museveni says though, oral sex isn’t just great because it’s enjoyable.

There are, in fact, a whole host of reasons as to why going down on someone, or having someone go down on you, is a pretty solid experience.

First, orgasms are really good for you. Like, really good.

Not only do they feel fairly nice but the release of all those endorphins is enough to flush all the nasty cortisol bloating feelings out of you making you generally happier and also feeling not half as rotten and run down.

And seeing as we all know we’re faaar more likely orgasm with the help of oral sex, it’s just a decent activity all round.

Stunning enough, to be honest like.