Wife wants to combine her last name with her husband's but her family are outraged 1 year ago

Wife wants to combine her last name with her husband's but her family are outraged

It's a tricky one.

If you're a people pleaser, then you'll always want to make everyone happy - especially your parents.

Some parents, no matter what age, will try to tell you what to do with your life. And while some might give you advice, others will try steer you in a certain direction.

This woman wrote on Mumsnet that she wants to combine her and her fiancé's surnames when they get married this year, however her parents are totally against it.

She wrote:

"I'm getting married in June. We announced that instead of me taking his name, we will both change our names to a combination of our surnames.

"This was met with absolute fury from my family and a massive fight, followed by nearly a year of passive aggressive comments and my mum constantly saying 'so and so thinks it's ridiculous' etc etc.

"The name itself works well (sounds like a normal surname) and we both like the idea of honouring both of our families and keeping that route, and neither of us would be happy if I took his name.

"His family was also upset but they were willing to sit down and talk it through and they understand now, and acknowledge that a lot of it was just because it's out of their comfort zone but ultimately they support it.

"Most recently my mum said that if we announced it at the wedding she would walk out (I'm really close to her so that would be very upsetting but also they are paying so complicated there too!).

"I don't know what to do or how to get my parents to be supportive as I know they will just continue to undermine it behind our backs whenever they speak to anybody and we want them to support it."

Many users on the site agreed that it is her decision to do what she wants with her life, and she should tell her family that.

One said:

"Don’t live your life to please your parents. It’s no way to live. Do what you like and let them strop about it. If they come round eventually great if they don’t it just shows how childish they are."

While another wrote:

"Ignore tantrums! If your mum wants to make herself look a fool in front of everyone at your wedding by walking out, then let her.

"The cracked record method is good for these things - set on a standard phrase 'we have decided on this name and are very happy with it' or somesuch and don't argue or try and win them over, just use the phrase and change the subject. Over and over. Its very good practice for having a toddler imo!"