Oh, I’m sorry summer, I didn’t see you there.

Irish summers are the equivalent of the friend you met at a festival who never answers your phone calls. “Summer is not here right now…please leave a message after the beep” BEEEEEEP. And then it’s gone. Vanished forever, no note, no messages, nada. You have nothing but those fond memories of those oh-too-short three days spent together. I, for one, am beyond excited for the winter months. Long dark nights, cuddled up beside my laptop, with no reason to leave the house for fear of being swept into the Irish sea. With that in mind, here are my top reasons why winter is by far the most superior of seasons.

No more pressure to diet:

I'll be real with you here. Diets are stupid and this whole 'beach body' ideal has been invented by marketing companies trying to sell you things. Alas, we fall for it hook, line and sinker. I'm looking forward to seeing glazed shanks of ham in peoples hands when I walk down the street as opposed to the €7 radioactive baby mush 'health food' smoothies that are being pushed in my face currently.  

The clothes:

The pressure to dress appropriately on a rare summer's day is up there with brain surgery. https://twitter.com/rbcakn/status/762910650263801856 TBH, I'm more of a layering gal. More specifically, I would consider myself a gal of many scarfs. I love checking out other gals on cold sludgy days decked out with three cardigans and a jumper and giving them a silent nod of approval. If it's good enough for the Olsens, it's good enough for me.

(in fairness, do you ever see them without their entire wardrobe on?)

 

You don't have to do anything because it's miserable outside:

Friend : Hey Steph it's a glorious day, we should hike/bicycle/shoot wood pigeons/feed the needy. Me: Yeaaah, I would, except i'm re-upholstering my gerbil that day. Friend: You're wha- Me: *RUNS AWAY* I would prefer to spend the majority of my day eating junk food indoors and watching movies. Winter makes that a possibility.

Public transport becomes feasible again:

Now, I can't speak for the ladies in other counties, but in the fair city of Dublin during the summer, public transport is infested with the neon backpack brigade. It can take up to an hour to find a bus that isn't jammed with tourists or visitors, and if you need to go anywhere by foot around town, GOODNIGHT.  

Halloween outfit momentum:

What will be the hottest Halloween outfit of 2016? What does everyone think of this darling Japanese cockroach costume? Personally, I think it's shit. I've asked the girls around the office what they think will be the No 1 choice this year. In no particular order we have: Harambe (a bad taste one, but still)... ...one from the copious collection of Snapchat filters: ..and Donald Trump (because to be fair, he's more like an imaginary person).   Saving the best for last. I can't wait until winter because obviously Christmas, but more specifically the Marks and Spencer food adverts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHFKE6PD_6U The mecca of food advertising. Who is this woman? Where did she work before? Has she ever voiced audible adult fiction before? How does she manage to sound so poised and make me want all the food? Most importantly, will she read me a bedtime story?