PLEASE JUST TAKE ME BACK BRIAN!
Getting dumped is the worst. It’s not as bad as making yourself a toasted cheese sandwich and, milliseconds before biting into it, noticing that the bread is mouldy, but it’s still pretty bad.
There’s some foolproof ways of weaselling yourself back into your ex’s heart, but research has shown that the most effective way (it works literally every time!) is by getting a quirky new hairstyle.
Put all your efforts into securing one of these hairstyles and you’re guaranteed to be smitten within minutes.
1. Multicoloured Mop!
eBay
Let Seán know you’re not the boring wagon he said you were. It’s not true what he said. Your relationship didn’t lose its spark, you’re still the fun-loving gal he met at the teenage disco in town. Fair enough, you both got into a bit of a routine and got a bit complacent, but things aren’t beyond repair.
When Seán sees you looking quirky and fab with this new do, you’re going to be irresistible to him. It wouldn’t be hugely surprising if he proposed to you on the spot. You won’t even need to go out for dinner because he’s going to be full up after eating his words. Success for rainbow Róisín!
2. Cover-Up Crop!
Slodive
Michael’s going to be singing his favourite Westlife song ‘Fool Again’ for a long time after he sees you with this statement hairstyle. Let’s face it, it’s very likely that you broke up because of your face. As we all know, it’s definitely not what’s on the inside that counts. If it was, you’d be in serious trouble in that department as well.
With this hairstyle, Michael won’t be able to see your hideous face anymore. This barnet is going to cement your future together, whether he likes it or not. As if your rekindled relationship wasn’t bonus enough, you’ll also save a fortune on makeup!
3. His New Girlfriend’s Gruaig!
Tina Tarnoff
Liam, you’ve made a huge mistake. Show him that you can be everything he apparently wants now by getting an exact replica of his new girlfriend’s quirky hairstyle. Simply bring the hairdresser one of your photographs you’ve taken while stalking the pair of them for reference – easy peasy!
He’s going to very quickly see the error in his ways once you turn into Kelly. Start copying her interests and mannerisms by going through her social media profiles with a fine-comb. You’ll be back into his loving arms in no time with this foolproof method.
4. Tomato Top!
College Humour
Ian’s favourite food has always been tomatoes. Remember the time he asked for no tomatoes in his salad and the waitress thought he wanted extra tomatoes? He got so angry but you managed to calm him down with your mindfulness app. Bless.
When Ian sees your new do, he’s going to lose his mind. He’ll instantly remember that the love you shared was like a tomato: nobody knew if it was a fruit or a vegetable. The fog in his mind will lift and it’s very likely that you’ll put a deposit on a house together before the week is out. All it took was this truly repulsive haircut <3
5. Buzzcut Barnet!
Let James know you’re serious about him by shaving off all your hair à la Britney’s 2007 meltdown. He’ll be startled to see you at first, but that’s just because he never knew you had such a strong gesture of commitment in you all along.
Take things a step further by getting his initials shaved into the side of your head as well. It’s an unlikely outcome, but if James reacts badly and brands you a weirdo, simply tell him to get over himself, those are Jesus Christ’s initials and you are very religious.
