6 pairs of knickers every woman owns
Knickers, am I right?
Folks, there's little funnier than referring to a singular pair of underwear as 'a knickers'. I cannot explain the science behind it, you just need to trust me on this one.
Anyway, someone decided at a certain point in history that we all need to wear knickers and to be honest, it wasn't a bad shout. They're warm, fashionable and they get the job done.
I firmly believe that we're all victim to having the same category of knickers, so here's the proof.
1. The Everyday Pair
This is your bog standard knicker, more practical than fancy. You open the knicker drawer in the morning and know exactly where you stand with this pair. There's no tag at the back that's going to irritate your butt for the day and there's no holes that could potentially be mocked if you, God forbid, found yourself in an accident. These reliable smalls will never let you down, nor find themselves up your butt crack. Thank you, everyday pair.
2. The Pair You Remortgaged Your House For
JK nobody owns a house these days!! You ran away with yourself the day you purchased these bad boys, that's for sure. You were in the airport, had about 20 minutes to kill and spent the bones of €5,000 on a pair of admittedly underwhelming knickers. They're dry clean only, were crafted by 35 silent monks over the course of two decades and hold the mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle, or so the sales assistant led you to believe.
3. The Shark Week Pair
The Jan of the knicker family, they are unloved and you have no emotional attachment to them whatsoever. It's hard to look them in the eyes at times because all the love in your relationship has gone away. They know you're only using them and will squash them to the bottom of the drawer for weeks at a time.
4. The ~Sexy~ Pair
Listen, spade a spade, these knickers are the Christina Aguilera 'Dirty' era of the knicker drawer. They know their relevance is vital in the world, strutting around with confidence and somehow always managing to pop themselves to the top of the laundry basket for all to see. They're the type of knickers that you need to say three Hail Marys after wearing, and can't look your parents in the eye for a few weeks after as well.
5. The Pair You've Had Since Birth
Not literally, but they're easily as old as the iPod. Like all of us, they're flawed. They have the beginnings of some detrimental and irreparable fraying going on and are barely fit to hang out on the clothesline for fear that anyone would catch sight of them. But you have this weird attachment to them and know that they will never be replaced in your heart.
6. The Guantanamo Bae Pair
These are absolutely 100% not made for humans to wear. They're so uncomfortable, X Factor tension music plays on a loop each time you wear them. They sit in the knicker drawer tempting you, convincing you that they'll reap serious rewards if you simply give them the opportunity to do so. Alas, you are let down every time and end up readjusting yourself for the entire day due to their haphazard wandering.