Life is unfair.
Malcolm In The Middle was an essential part of any decent television schedule in the 2000s. Every Sunday night I’d lump myself in front of the telly to see what those little terrors had gotten up to. I’d also force my parents to watch it with a view to them realising how blessed they were with such a calm and respectful child such as myself.
We, as a society, learned an awful lot from MITM. On a personal level, I learned important things such as how to lie effectively and how best to annoy the living Christ out of my sister without leaving any traces of my involvement.
Here’s 5 essential life lessons we all learned from Malcolm In The Middle.
1. It’s perfectly normal to be terrified of your Mam
Lois was the most terrifying woman on television, equaled only by your Mam. She’d screech so loud the windows would come close to shattering, reef Malcolm and Reese out of it when they were doing something that wasn’t in line with her daily routine and by Christ did she have a way with words out and about if someone wronged her. Lois gave us comfort that all Mams are terrifying creatures that deserve to be feared.
2. The cutest siblings are the most lethal
Dewey was the most adorable child on television at a time when his only real competition was the creepy looking baby from Dinosaurs. His face was the epitome of the saying ‘butter wouldn’t melt’, however, we soon learned that it did. He was smarter than his brothers, often weaselling his way out of trouble and landing them in it, without anybody suspecting a damn thing. I learned a lot from Dewey, due to being the youngest and therefore cutest.
3. Dads are genuinely in their own little world 98% of the time
Hal was a great Dad but he didn’t half lose the run of himself when something distracting came along. Whether it was joining a rollerblading troupe or building an obscene amount of lego structures on the living room floor, he would immerse himself into a world that very few could interrupt. He also taught us that you could get permission to do just about anything if you asked your Dad while he was reading the paper.
4. When you move out of the family home, you’re forgotten about in minutes
Poor Francis was shipped off to military school and thus the family settled into their new life without him insensitively quickly. He was getting up to all sorts at the academy while they swiftly got on with matters. Their phone conversations were often heated and resulted in phones being slammed, confirming every teenager’s fears that their parents would forget about them when they eventually flee the family home.
5. Lungs are important
Ok this isn’t technically a lesson about family life, but it’s a lesson nevertheless. Malcolm’s friend Stevie had a hard time breathing which was used for comic effect throughout the series. It later came to light that poor Stevie only had one lung, which led to his health complications. At that point, most of us felt bad about our impressions we did of this entirely fictional character and vowed to take better care of our lungs going forward. Your welcome, lungy 1 and lungy 2.
Lead image via Imgur
