25 of the funniest tweets you might’ve missed in May

Ciara Knight

Folks, May was a strong month on Twitter.

People truly surpassed themselves with their humour, covering topics such as cheese graters, kissing dead people, pervertedly eating strawberries and the importance of hyphens.

Here’s 25 of the most hysterical tweets you might’ve missed in May.

i hate when old people say tattoos are a waste of money like debra you have a cabinet dedicated to expensive plates nobody is allowed to use

— the meme index (@memeindex) May 1, 2016

Summer got attacked by a duck today & the pictures our neighbor got of it happening make me laugh so hard pic.twitter.com/GEJuGwPy24

— stevie b (@steviebaegidden) May 2, 2016

Well-a
well-a
well-a
Huh pic.twitter.com/vPgHkKCMiY

— Louise O’Connor (@oconnola) May 5, 2016

The view from inside a cheese grater looks like a classic Puff Daddy/Hype Williams video set. (via @MannyFaces) pic.twitter.com/9pVFjYQPcp

— Lester Bangs (@mattwhitlockPM) May 8, 2016

sometimes my dad talks to me like i’ve never been retweeted by good charlotte

— darcie (@333333333433333) May 9, 2016

when u realise your children are not the real priority in your life, but that u owe it all to the sweet green prince pic.twitter.com/0z8zCCqDzz

— Emily (@hazpoz) May 10, 2016

I don’t know cpr I just like punching dead people in the chest and kissing them.

— Little Greenis (@DurtMcHurtt) May 12, 2016

Manager: Your fired
Me: *You’re
Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud
Me: How did you know I corrected you

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) May 13, 2016

“Australia is a big part of Europe and should definitely be in the Eurovision Song Contest.” pic.twitter.com/HJG6LnbYUw

— David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) May 14, 2016

me: do you ever get sad because some dogs probably need glasses but we’ll never know because THEY CANT SAY

bank teller: sir this is a bank

— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) May 16, 2016

Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word

Me: Hired

Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??

— Niles (@River_Niles) May 16, 2016

we had to observe a minute silence for the guy who fell in the lake & drowned. went for 74 seconds. not complaining just dont call it that

— Micheal Caine (@mikealfredcaine) May 17, 2016

If embryos are people, ultrasounds are child pornography

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 17, 2016

nigga this tweet opened my third eye pic.twitter.com/BtFU0ExGg0

— michael is dead (@silenthooper) May 19, 2016

funniest thing i’ve ever said irl is ‘what kind of clown do they have running this place?’ after getting a wrong order at mc donalds

— PatrickJuicePlus+ (@PrayForPatrick) May 20, 2016

Interviewer: says here you have a military background
Me [getting out my phone]: yeah but I changed to a picture of my dog eating spaghetti

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 20, 2016

pic.twitter.com/qRJwLaXp75

— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) May 21, 2016

Might need a hyphen in that mate. pic.twitter.com/CXtbtsVRdJ

— Jon (@hippy_jon) May 21, 2016

My housemates booed me when I switched from acoustic to electric toothbrush but I have to do what I feel is best.

— esthero’mooredonohoe (@estheromd) May 23, 2016

I’m about to CUM

C. coming o
U. ut of
M. my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all it started out wi

— ZOMBIE MAMI (@xodelanyy) May 24, 2016

He doesn’t know what goes on in jails, does he…? pic.twitter.com/ztm68yZ4sM

— News Thing on RT UK (@NewsThingRT) May 24, 2016

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. But that’s not the complete list. pic.twitter.com/276Bjvy7L5

— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) May 28, 2016