Ahhhhhhhh finally. Festival season is almost here. It’s time to leave our inhibitions and jobs behind, pack a bag (incorrectly usually) and head off to greener (usually wetter) pastures.
Who better to watch unpronounceable bands with than your favourite group of gal-pals! A funny thing we’ve noted is that strange things happen at festivals when we women gather in packs, we’ve compiled a list of things that WILL happen if you’re heading off with your favourite girl posse.
- Become experts at porta-loo sharing – Some would say this is a dying art form, just because we’re in the middle of a field in the back ar*e of nowhere doesn’t mean we still don’t want to catch up on toilet chat. Positioning is very important for the person on the loo you have to have some serious quad power to hold that squat without touching ANYTHING, then, of course, there’s the shake off. For the person waiting you need to have the precision of a panther by standing perfectly still with your face inches from the door, you also have to be extremely precise with your toilet paper back-pass to squat friend, all the while the two of you are holding your breath and screaming simultaneously. It’s very stressful.
- You all adopt a new best friend – This is a lovely element to the festival circuit, by the end of the weekend you usually have heaps of new friends, but there will be one whose been there from the very beginning. This person will most likely be at your wedding
- You become completely immune to any weather conditions whatsoever – Rain… what’s that? It truly doesn’t matter what kind of weather comes our way the most important thing is that our shorts are micro and our spirits are high. Ordinarily, if the rain comes down in Ireland we leg it, at festivals we are one with the elements we embrace it 100% the thought of an umbrella or a rain jacket is laughable. Amateurs.
- Someone becomes the festival mother – Usually w, don’t bring our mothers to festivals with us, lucky for us there is always one friend who steps up to the plate and becomes festival mother. The festival mother is a sight to behold. She’ll always have wet wipes at the ready, plasters will be securely tucked away in her socks, and she hands out fizzy fellas every morning so we can put our absolute BEST festival foot forward.
- You have a designated tester – The designated tester is the one who tries out all the dodgy festival food first… she has absolutely no fear. If it’s meat on a stick, she’ll take one for the team.
- Someone falls in love – This can be a bone of contention amongst girl groups. The object of affection is almost ALWAYS staying in another campsite, we hate walking.
- Selfie levels reach another level – Group selfies, morning selfies, night-time selfies, gig selfies, food selfies, new love selfies, best friend selfies… it’s what life is all about.
- Someone loses their passport – Lads… nobody needs to bring their passport to a field, genuinely if you’re one of the lucky few who look ridiculously young, bring a drivers’ license or an age-card, don’t bring a passport. You will lose it and festival mom will have a nightmare trying to find it.
- You’ll all fall out… then make up and cry – Tents are complicated, full of politics and heightened emotions. Who took the last bit of loo roll? Who stole the love of someone else’s life? Who posted an unflattering group selfie where only they look good? These things will happen, arguments will happen… but at the end of the day, you’ll all hug and cry and wish you could live in a field and listen to music for all eternity.
