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Music

04th Jan 2016

Surely There Was A Little Diggity, And Other Rap Myths Dispelled

Ciara Knight

The world of rap and hip-hop music is difficult and often confusing.

Luckily, as a firm and respected member of the rap community, (see previous experience here), I have gained a lot of reliable insider knowledge and am willing to share it with the world.

Hence, I will dispel some rap myths.

‘Push It’ – Salt-N-Pepa

Pushing it ‘real good’ is unlikely to make any real difference compared to pushing it to the best of your God-given ability.

‘The Real Slim Shady’ – Eminem

Legally, his name is not Slim Shady, it is Marshall Bruce Mathers III and he’d do well to remember that.

‘Get Ur Freak On’ – Missy Elliott

It’s advisable that you request signed and dated permission from both parties involved before getting your ‘Freak On’.

NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 16: Musician Missy Elliott performs onstage at the Alexander Wang X H&M Launch on October 16, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images for H&M)

’99 Problems’ – Jay Z

Counting your problems, no matter how sizeable they may be, will not reduce the amount of problems. Your time would be better spent trying to solve said problems.

‘Jesus Walks’ – Kanye West

Jesus didn’t walk, he glided.

‘No Diggity’ – Blackstreet Feat. Dr. Dre & Queen pen

Research has shown that, based on a large quantity being available at the time, there was a small trace of diggity present.

LOS ANGELES, CA - AUGUST 10: Rapper Dr. Dre arrives at the premiere of Universal Pictures and Legendary Pictures' "Straight Outta Compton" at the Microsoft Theatre on August 10, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

‘Lose Yourself’ – Eminem

It is literally impossible to get lost in music. Music is not a physical thing, it is not made up of matter.

‘Candy Shop’ – 50 Cent Feat. Olivia

It is an arrestable offence to lick or consume goods in a candy shop prior to paying for them.

‘Straight Outta Compton’ – N.W.A.

With the recent addition of strict traffic rules, successfully navigating your way straight out of Compton without any congestion is highly unlikely.

LOS ANGELES, CA - AUGUST 10: (Editors Note: Image has been processed using digital filters) Rapper Ice Cube attends the premiere of "Straight Outta Compton" at Microsoft Theater on August 10, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images)

F**k Tha Police’ – N.W.A.

You should always be respectful towards the police.

‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ – Coolio Feat. L.V.

It’s completely unfeasible to spend a large portion of your life living in a gangster’s paradise. At some point you will need to come back to a gangster’s reality.

Ghetto Gospel’ – 2Pac

Please avoid hitting people at all times, especially with a ghetto gospel.

INDIO, CA - APRIL 15: A holographic image of Tupac Shakur is seen performing during day 3 of the 2012 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival at the Empire Polo Field on April 15, 2012 in Indio, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for Coachella)