Further Shocking Information Has Emerged From The Panama Papers 6 years ago

Further Shocking Information Has Emerged From The Panama Papers

Panama Papers, am I right?

They've caused a fair bit of hassle after exposing the offshore taxation that some very powerful people have been doing.

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But there's also some extremely sinister activity after being uncovered by these documents, some of which I have listed below.

Reader discretion is advised as these are all entirely fabricated.


1. Ronan Keating bought all 300 sold copies of his last album himself.

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2. James Blunt doesn't actually think you're beautiful.

3. David Cameron, similar to Kanye West, stays away from that area altogether.

4. Joaquin Phoenix doesn't even know how to pronounce his name.

5. Enda Kenny has invested a large amount of money in Frubes and has encouraged others to do the same.

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WASHINGTON, DC - MARCH 15: US President Barack Obama (R) and acting Prime Minister (Taoiseach) of Ireland Enda Kenny (L) deliver remarks following their bilateral meeting on March 15, 2016 in the Oval Office of the White House, in Washington, DC,. Obama and Kenny discussed the economy in both countries as well as the ongoing immigration crises (Photo by Michael Reynolds-Pool/Getty Images)

6. Oprah can't stand people.

7. Bill Gates doesn't have any windows in his house.

8. DJ Spiral owns over 12 Prize Bonds.

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9. Blanket Jackson disputes rumours of being called a wet blanket.

10. Steven Spielberg admits Jurassic Park used fake dinosaurs.

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 11: Director/ Producer Steven Spielberg arrives at Lincoln Center's American Songbook Gala Honors Lorne Michaels at Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts on February 11, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images)

11. Hulk Hogan was awarded $200m after being wrongly accused of stealing a typewriter.

12. Trinny from Trinny and Susannah admits that she is also Susannah from Trinny and Susannah.

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13. Cadbury admits that Freddos are overpriced. FINALLY.

14. Maria Sharapova spent her entire career earnings on wholemeal bread.

15. Batman spent over $500,000 on butt implants.

HOLLYWOOD, CA - OCTOBER 21: Batman attends a ceremony honoring Batman creator Bob Kane with the 2,562nd star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame on October 21, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)

16. Victoria Beckham lodged an undisclosed sum of money into 'Cheekbones For Chubby People' fund.

17. Taylor Swift has a wonky toe.

18. Matt Damon has never actually been to space.

19. Salt N Peppa never pushed a damn thing in their lives.

20. Fitch from Abercrombie & Fitch is a little bitch.

21. Samantha Mumba added an extra zero to her Credit Union statement to make herself feel better.