

2.INTERVIEWER: can you give me an example where you were helpful to a coworker? ME: I cannot
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) August 2, 2016
My early review of "Suicide Squad" : pic.twitter.com/ryGXSO3GuW — Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) August 2, 20163.
4.Ask people do you hear that beeping noise so they will stop talking
— ashley barnhill (@ashley_barnhill) August 3, 2016
been doing pokemon on my old nokia and so far I can tell you one thing, this town is riddled with snakes — David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) August 3, 20165.
George. GEORGE. GEORGE! pic.twitter.com/beC6VV93tj — Sue Kirk (@SueKirk) August 6, 20166.
Still everything to play for, in the Men's Hoovering #Rio2016 pic.twitter.com/L1JwxBk4u8 — Nick James (@jamesy1962) August 7, 20167.
*gymnast does a triple-double ultra-spin backflip-frontflip but takes a tiny step when she lands* ME: [mouthful of Pringles] what a loser — Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) August 8, 20168.
A performance for my haters. #Olympics ?? pic.twitter.com/p0HxGiiqFT — KHADI DON (@KhadiDon) August 9, 20169.
Adele got a billboard just to gloat pic.twitter.com/8lVUhy2rm1 — shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) August 10, 201610.
Hatched a Snorlax. No gifts or flowers. Both doing well! — Ellen Tannam (@incogellen) August 11, 201611.
When your ex comes to your Olympic meet. #Rio2016 pic.twitter.com/T3igVFsp4Y — Ramon... (@TheLegendRamon) August 14, 201612.
The Olympics are really conflicting for me because I hate sports but love necklaces — Megan Amram (@meganamram) August 16, 201613.
Throwback to my leaving cert results pic.twitter.com/RJs9DHLMBD — Alexander Superlike (@cave___in) August 17, 201614.
Shout out to the small squirrel who decided what a serving size of cereal is. — Jesse Case (@jessecase) August 17, 201615.
A Guide to Irish Verbs Tá Mé - I am Tá Sé - He is Tá Sí - She is Tá Tu - ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID RUNNIN THRU MY HEAD — Alan (@alan_maguire) August 18, 201616.
wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] me: I'm having an affair — Josh (@iwearaonesie) August 18, 201617.
When gals are taught abt periods and the boys are taken out of class is that when they learn to make that machine gun noise with their mouth — deemcdonnell .biz (@deevseverything) August 18, 201618.
pyjamas? havent worn them in years pic.twitter.com/fRvuOTkaXM — maeve (@pocahonttits) August 19, 201619.
*tries to wave goodbye to the genie without spilling my 3 giant milkshakes* — Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 23, 201620.
Wooden spoons are great. You can use them to cook or if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub. — Periwinkle Jones (@peachesanscream) August 24, 201621.
interesting fact of the day xox pic.twitter.com/tf83YtMhbj — Chris SimpsonsArtist (@getbentsaggy) August 24, 201622.
Not the meal choices I would have offered . . . but hey, it's your wedding. pic.twitter.com/d94Jty1kk9 — Gray Kimbrough (@graykimbrough) August 25, 201623.
Boy, are you a verified account? Cos yer a tick. — Elaine (@LeanIago) August 26, 201624.
"I'm gonna count to 5 and you're gonna get in formation" pic.twitter.com/xXrZ8qRdal — shook (@rjhours) August 29, 2016