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26th July 2024
04:43pm BST
My 30th birthday is next month and I suddenly feel like I need to book Botox, dye my hair, and start applying ten layers of eye cream before bed. My Nanny has always told me that to age is a privilege, so why is society making me feel guilty for ageing?
For decades, women have been weighed down by this weird task of not ageing. And spoiler alert, it isn't exactly possible.
We can temporarily prevent it but ageing is inevitable, it's going to happen to us all, but why are women expected to avoid it as if it's something we should be ashamed of?
As I get closer to my 30th, which feels a lot more intense than I expected it to, I can't help but pay closer attention to the lines on my forehead, the odd grey hair on my head, and the suppleness of my skin.
I should be looking forward to entering my Jenna Rink era but instead, I feel guilty and pressured, both physically and emotionally. Have I achieved enough? Do I look my age? Will people think I'm 30? Have I done all I wanted to do in my 20s?
The only thing making me feel this way is the weighty history of women being told that ageing is wrong and it's only getting worse.
Nicola Coughlan is forever hit with remarks about how she 'doesn't look her age' and I think those people need to remember she's only 37 and not a 200-year-old wench.
Others praised Anne Hathaway for 'not looking her age' in The Idea of You as if being 41 is some dirty little secret we need to be shielded from.
Feeling embarrassed about ageing is something generations of women have been dealing with and continue to deal with. Many Her.ie readers opened up to us about the unachievable beauty standards we deal with daily and everyone agreed that we're so much more than how wrinkle-free our faces are.
One reader summed it up perfectly: "There shouldn't be any type of standard and expectation of women based on our looks because we bring more value into the world."
There's a quote by Diane Keaton I always think of when I find myself panicking about ageing.
"If I wanted to be prettier, fillers, Botox and a neck lift might help — but I think I’m past all that. My feelings come out in my face and show who I am inside in ways that words can’t express."
Stevie Nicks echoed her sentiment when talking about being happy at any age and why you need to focus on that.
"When I’m 90 years old and sitting in a gloriously beautiful beach house somewhere on this planet with five or six Chinese crested Yorkies, surrounded by all my goddaughters who will at that point be middle-aged, I’ll be just as happy."
Ageing is something we should be proud of which is why I'm hoping to shake off this pressure before my birthday rolls around. I am a Leo after all and want to celebrate my special day without frantically searching for Botox clinics near me.
Apologies to the Gen Z crowd on TikTok but being in your thirties is not the end, it's actually only the beginning of your life, slight wrinkles and all.
