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18th Sep 2017

Say what? A man says crying in an interview secured his dream job

'Don't underestimate authenticity'.

Orlaith Condon

job interview wedding ring

One man says this moment landed him his dream job.

When an Australian developer shared his story of crying during an interview, many began revealing that they had found themselves in a similar situation.

In a 14-post thread on Twitter, Boon Cotter revealed how his position at a video game company was secured when he got emotional about one of the characters in their games.

When asked why he wanted to work for the company, Cotter admitted that as a gay man, the company’s decision to include a gay character in their game The Last of Us meant a lot.

“And telling them that made me start crying,” he revealed on Twitter.

Cotter was offered the job and told his followers that his experience had taught him to not “underestimate authenticity” but to “be raw, be vulnerable, be real.”

Unsurprisingly, Cotter’s story led to many others sharing their experiences of getting emotional in interviews and how that had actually been seen as a positive.

One of those people is Theo Caviness, a former graphic designer for the New York Post and New York Daily News.

After spending months going through various stages of interviews and background checks, Theo told the New York Post, that it was one question and, more importantly, his response to it that landed him the gig.

When asked ‘what is the most important thing in your life?’, Theo gave this response.

“I saw my kids and my wife and the whole year behind me… and it just bubbled out of me,” he revealed.

“I told him that my kids were my life and I needed to be a working man to provide for them. And he hands me a box of tissues and says thanks and kinda ushers me out.”

Theo thought his chances of securing that job were gone with that moment, however, a few months later after being hired for the position, his boss told him that it was actually that moment that sealed the deal.

But the one thing that stood out to me while I read Cotter’s thread, and Theo’s account, was the thought of what would happen if I began to cry in an interview.

I couldn’t help but think back to interviews gone by and wonder how they would have played out if I had cried in front of my future employers.

While Cotter’s story was definitely a positive one, and I was almost proud to hear that his moment of emotional honesty was seen by his employers as a moment of strength, I just cannot imagine it would be the same for me – or for any woman.

While many still like to believe that gender doesn’t play a part in these decisions, I find it difficult to imagine a situation where a woman cries in her interview for a top-level job and is later told by her employer that it was that moment that secured her the position.

And it’s not just in the interview stages that women feel like they are treated differently to men.

We asked you if you felt like you were treated equally to your male counterparts at work – 67 percent of said you weren’t.

We reached out to Career Coach, Ronan Kennedy, and asked his thoughts on crying in an interview and whether or not the outcome would differ if the candidate was a woman.

“I think it’s appropriate to cry whenever the context calls for it,” he told Her.

“It may show compassion or empathy depending on what is being discussed.

“However, crying during an interview for certain jobs would seem highly unusual and may make the interviewer feel uncomfortable.

“I would also hope that there is more criteria to hiring someone than whether or not they cried, or whether or not they are a woman,” he added.

“I guess that if the company is a boys club, they may not have offered her the job, but I can’t say for certain.”

This general attitude is unsurprisingly having an impact on the career aspiration of many Irish women.

When asked whether or not you felt your gender would impact your career progressions, 69 percent of you said you feared it would – and that is without tearing up in the interview.

Whether it’s intentional or not, women are expected to keep their emotions under wrap in the workplace. Any sign of anger, upset or general disagreement can lead to terms like ‘hysterical’, ‘unstable’, and ‘bitter’, being casually thrown around.

Cotter’s final message to followers read:

“Don’t underestimate authenticity. Be raw, be vulnerable, be real. That’s where your uniqueness shines.”

And while I try and embrace that advice with those in my personal life, I don’t think those in my professional one are ready for that just yet.