Louise Thompson says medication saved her life as she struggled with PTSD after traumatic birth
"Being alive felt like torture."
Made in Chelsea star Louise Thompson has opened up about her mental struggles following the difficult birth of her son.
The 32-year-old gave birth to her first child Leo in November. She became very ill afterwards and spent five weeks in hospital, while suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Now, in a candid Instagram post, Louise praised the medication she took for really helping her move forward with her life.
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"Severe anxiety and depression are not things you can just fix using 'mindfulness' or cbt... sometimes you need mind altering drugs to pluck you out of a really deep hole," she wrote.
"For a while I felt so rubbish that the highlight of my day was feeling pain or needing the loo because they were the only things that brought me back to reality. I bet that's hard to imagine. I could never have imagined suffering like this myself.
"I was one of those people that read about PTSD and didn't understand how people couldn't just be 'over' something after it had happened. How could survivors not be grateful to have survived? Why couldn't they just move on with their lives?
"When I was having one of my worst 'terrors' I whaled at Ryan and my mum asking them why I couldn't have just died on the operating table because that would have been easier. Anything felt easier than this. There was one point where I wanted to be admitted to A&E so that people could witness the pain I was in and inject me with something to put an end to it or at least put me to sleep."
She continued: "Being alive honestly felt like torture. Over the past few months I longed for a physical injury because then at least there might be a tangible treatment for it… I might be able to 'see' progress or my body getting better. There would be tests for it...Scans, blood tests etc. SOMETHING that people could see.
"The good news is that i'm making progress and i'm nowhere near where I was.
"I wanted to give up on a few occasions but I stuck with it. You should too. In fact I beg you to keep going.
"I needed help from modern medicine and I am SO grateful that I took it. My brain was so scared of medication and resisted it in a big way, but I kept going."