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Health

25th Feb 2017

A man has invented a ‘feminine hygiene’ product that is every kind of wrong

We are not even joking.

Amanda Cassidy

We are not even joking. 

It’s a solution to the problem literally nobody was asking about – a ‘lipstick’ that you use to seal your vulva shut during a visit from Auntie Flo.

The inventor (and non-owner-of-a-vagina), who also happens to be a chiropractor, has received a barrage of complaints, frankly hilarious comments and blatant outrage since he posted his bonkers invention on his Facebook page.

Let us explain…

‘Mensez’ works like this: a day before your period you whack on a bit of the sticky lippy down below, where it ‘seals in’ the menstrual flow until you need to pee.

Oh there’s more.

Then the urine dissolves the glue and it exits naturally when you wee… simples.

(Image via Thea Butler Facebook) 

Daniel Dopps describes the product on his LinkedIn:

“Mensez feminine lipstick is a natural patented compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick applicator that is applied to the labia minora and causes them to cling together in a manner strong enough to retain menstrual fluid in the vestibule above the labia minora where the vaginal opening and urethra exit.

The Mensez compound is instantly washed away with urine, which releases the menstrual fluid along with the urine into the toilet every time a woman urinates. No pads or tampons are needed. Safe, secure and clean.”

According to Forbes, the patent was granted on January 10 of this year but it has yet to hit the market. We can’t imagine why.

His company, Mensez Technologies, won’t actually manufacture the lipstick (how am I even writing this) but its website describes it as thus:

“A personal hygiene product and should not be shared with others”

Long story short, it’s no surprise this concept is being greeted with a heavy flow of criticism (sorry/ not sorry).

Dopps claims the product is “being misunderstood” and has a huge “social implications for women”

Maybe we just don’t get it.

After all, according to the doctor, we are distracted at least 25% of the time because of this affliction.