11 ways Irish people deal with 'The Fear'
The Fear is a uniquely Irish phenomenon. A hangover with a generous side of shame, if you will.
It’s the classic tale of the tortoise and the hare. The hangover hits hard and fast, but The Fear has endurance. It may creep up slower, but inevitably lasts longer. In the most severe cases – until next weekend.
Luckily, the Irish are a resourceful race, and we have developed some fool proof techniques for handling The Fear.
1. Call in sick.
Oh, okay, I vaguely remember dancing to the 5ive Megamix in Coppers with my boss, today's shift will be different.
As this Irishman very eloquently put it. Not able.
image via iradio.
2. Begrudge people who don't have The Fear.
Hey, girl on Instagram who has already hiked to the top of Croagh Patrick, your mountain has nothing on my fear.
3. Give out a bit more.
Who ACTUALLY cuts the grass at 3 o' clock on a Sunday, like? I'm trying to sleep. Ridiculous.
4. Bargain with our mammy/God/both.
If there's ever a time we need our mammies, it's now. We promise we won't hang our jackets on the stairs anymore if you just please rub my back and tell me it's okay.
Also - many an Irishman has rediscovered his faith during a particularly bad bout of The Fear.
5. Swear we'll never drink again.
We say it every single time. We never ever stick to it. But it's comforting to know we could.
6. Avoid checking bank balance.
'Avoidance' really is a buzzword on an Irish Fear day. No good will come of checking your online account, wallet, or pockets.
Oblivion is your friend.
Experts say exercise is the best way to kick a hangover. Well, the Irish don't buy it.
We exercise the right to watch OITNB all day.
Even though we have flashbacks of trying to become real-life friends with the person we stalk on Facebook, there is nothing a chicken fillet roll, a packet of Mighty Munch and a bottle of 7up won't fix.
Plus copious amounts of tea - obviously.
9. Back to bed.
A day like this is basically just spent cowering in your duvet fort, interrupted only by food and bathroom breaks (just don't look yourself in the eye when you pass the mirror).
10. The cure.
Some may see this as a short-sighted approach, but we know that sometimes the hair of the dog really is the only way to take that edge off. Drink from the fountain of relief.
No matter how bad things may seem, the best thing about our nation is our refusal to take ourselves too seriously.
Boil the kettle for your 52nd cup of tea, and have a laugh with the girls. Be grand, sure.