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Life

29th Feb 2016

11-Year-Old Boy Writes Heartbreaking Letter Before Losing His Battle With Cancer

"I’m a bit scared of losing the fight. I hope I don’t."

Megan Cassidy

An eleven-year-old boy dictated a heartbreaking final letter just four days before passing away after a cancer battle.

Finlay Church, who fought a debilitating brain tumour for years, dictated the letter to his aunt Claire.

Now, his parents Penny and Wayne have shared the letter in order to mark the beginning of Brain Tumour Awareness Week tomorrow.

Finlay

Finlay won Pride of Birmingham shortly before his death. 

His mum Penny said: “As Fin took the final steps of this terrible journey there was much that remained unsaid.

“He couldn’t talk about dying but did find his voice by dictating the letter to his Auntie Claire, who listened and wrote down his words.

“In this way, Fin told us how much he loved us. He was able to say that he was scared of the cancer and spoke about how it had changed his life in good ways as well as bad.”

The letter reads:

Why am I doing this? To tell people how I feel.

My name is Finlay Church. I like my name. I like chocolate and food. I’ve always loved food.

I do often swear to myself in my head. Sometimes I say the “s” word in my head when I have pain.

The pain feels like pain, I can’t explain it in any other way and I feel fed up.

Because it’s boring and I’m fed up of this feeling every day.

I feel tired and have pain in my muscles and I’m fed up with being fat.

I’m sat in bed being quizzed by Auntie Claire. As normal, Auntie Claire is accompanied by a glass of fizz.

We are looking at photos of my family and friends. I love all the pictures that are flickering on.

At this point in my letter I would like to say ‘chop chop’ to my mother to bring my tea.

To my mum – I’ve got no idea what to say. I’m just so fed up. I’m sick of

going through it.

I love my crazy mum, you are nuts, bolts, amazing, incredible… You help me go through this, you wash me, you feed me, and you love me.

I can’t tell you how much I love you and appreciate your help. You are the best mum in the world.

I’m a little bit scared, just of cancer.

My dad! You’re more sensible than mum and more mature. I love you to bits because you are so caring and supportive and you don’t get drunk as much as mum.

Macca, you are a really nice brother. You are there when you want to be. I know you struggle sometimes seeing me poorly but I know you wish the best for me.

I love you even though people thought we were twins and I am nearly two years older – but it’s mum I blame for dressing us the same.

Tegan, you can be a pain in the bottom but I will always love you and forgive you because you are just so cute.

Rico, my dog, you big daft ball of wool. You have made my family better and you have improved the improbable. I just wish you had a brain and a muzzle.

To cancer, ‘F’ cancer. You have made my life change. Good and bad.

Shall we start with the good? We got a dog, it has brought my family closer, we have raised thousands of pounds for Brain Tumour Research and Birmingham Children’s Hospital.

I have had experiences I never thought I would have, thanks to the local community and friends and family.

I’m just so happy that people have helped.

Now the poo side of cancer. The rubbish side is the drugs and feeling so crap.

I’m a bit scared of losing the fight. I hope I don’t. I’ve just got to keep on fighting.

When I grow up I want to be the best armed policeman that Birmingham has ever had.

I want to help my local area to say thank you for all their support and generosity.