20 question every woman has when she walks into a sex shop

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there in some capacity.

Popping in for an inquisitive ‘snoop’ in Amsterdam, Berlin, or Bangkok. Or just taking the plunge and checking one out in Dublin, Cork, or Belfast.

Welcome to the world of sex shop browsing .

Sometimes we’re greeted with a veritable candy shop of treats. On other occasions, we’re scared shitless and have to go running from the building.

But either way, we reckon there are 20 key questions that every woman has once she finds herself in a sex shop…

1. Why is so eerily quiet?
2. Why is there so much red and purple lighting?
3. What really happens in those changing rooms?
4. Why do the people who work there look at you like you don’t belong?
5. Are the people who work there judging your purchases/sexual preferences?
6. Do the people who work there get any actual training?
7. Why is every surface (including the walls) so very crowded with merchandise?
8. What’s the returns policy?
9. If you break it, do you buy it?
10. Does anyone ever buy the really intimidating stuff that gets displayed in the window?
11. Why do you have to go through at least three doors to get inside?
12. Are you allowed to open the packing?
13. Why is everything so expensive?
14. Why is there always a lone, older man in there?
15. Why are all the samples chained to the table?
16. How much stuff gets stolen by people too embarrassed to pay for it?
17. When you’ve finished browsing, how do you leave the premises with dignity?
18. Do they ever clean the display models?
19. What is etiquette if you bump into someone you know?
20. Is there a bargain bucket of stuff we can actually afford?