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Health

09th Jul 2019

Six gruesome period stories that everyone with a vagina will relate to

Anna O'Rourke

sanitary products

Because there’s nothing more comforting than someone else’s mortification.

We know why you’ve clicked in, so let’s get into it.

Here are six true stories gathered from Her staffers and women we know for your reading pleasure.

“I was once going through airport security and, despite removing my shoes and everything from my pockets, somehow managed to set off the metal scanner that you walk through. I was immediately frisked by a very grumpy female security guard.

“She gruffly tapped and patted me all over but froze when she got to my crotch before quickly ushering me on. I gathered my stuff and carried on through the airport. I later realised that I had gotten my period and bled through my jeans and the poor security guard had put her hand in it when she was frisking me. I wasn’t even embarrassed as much as I felt sorry for the woman.”

 

“Once, on the last day of my period, I went out on the absolute lash. The next morning I woke up in a right state, and in sheer disgust I went to take out the tampon I believed I had left in for far too long. Searching and searching, I could not find the string anywhere. (I got to know my body better that day than I’d care to admit.)

“I panicked – I thought it had moved up-stream and had gotten stuck. I immediately rang my mother (as you do in times of crisis), only for her to respond, “Are you sure you didn’t take it out last night?”. Alarm bells. I had, and all that worry (and the phone call) was for nothing.”

 

“When I was in college I had a part-time job in a women’s clothes shop. It was a very hot day and I already looked a state… and I was on my period. Back then, my time of the month was as rough as f*ck too. Anyway, I went to use the bathroom and when I was getting up, the bottom of my cream top had a GIANT blob of blood on it – I had bled all over it in the short time I was sitting down.

“My stomach sank as clearly I couldn’t go back out onto the floor looking like I’d been stabbed. I didn’t know what to do. I quickly ran to the stockroom and grabbed the exact same top (the last one!) and put it on after removing the tag. Technically I stole the top for a day but I don’t feel at all guilty – it was entirely necessary. The fresh top was returned the day after.”

 

“One Saturday night I ended up back at mine one night with a guy. I was just at the end of my period and after quite a few drinks I wasn’t sure if I had removed my tampon or not. Things were moving quite quickly so I just went with it. Afterwards I had a feel around but couldn’t find anything. The next day I had some unusual discharge and there was a strong smell. I waited until the Monday and made an appointment with my GP, convinced I had some sort of STD. She had a look and sure enough there was the offending tampon minus the string. I still don’t know where that went.”

 

“I worked in a newsagents during college and was at work one day when I got my period out of the blue, ruining the knickers I was wearing. Luckily I had a spare pair in my car so I changed.

“I put the bloodied pair in my pocket and got on with my day. On my way out at the end of the day I put my hand in my pocket and they were gone. They must have fallen out and been left somewhere in the shop waiting to be found. I don’t know if they were ever found – I couldn’t ask because everyone would know they were mine.”

 

“My boyfriend and I were more than a little tipsy when we arrived home from a night out once. We made our way upstairs and started getting intimate. He went to pull down my knickers and only then did I remember I was wearing a tampon and was on quite a heavy flow. I went to tell him but it was too late – he started pulling out the tampon and it swung back and whacked him in the face. He took it well, to be fair, but things cooled off after that.”