Every time we go to the hairdressers we make the fatal mistake of thinking that THIS haircut will be the ONE.
This is the haircut that will fix our lives and transform us from owners of an unremarkable shoulder length split end riddled lank hair to, well, J-Law. That’s right this crap ‘do’ is literally all that been standing between us and looking like Jennifer Lawrence. Oh the severe denial that any trip to the hairdressers inspires. Here’re 8 really, really bad hair decisions we can’t stop making at the hairdressers
Forgetting what you actually look like
Oh we all know this one. You’re contemplating the ‘pixie’ crop and thinking how you will look exactly like Carey Mulligan. Right, riiiiiiiiight. You might look like the woman who ATE Carey Mulligan.
Considering extensions
We all need to remember that foot long hair extensions look absolutely dire on anyone who isn’t wearing them in a celebrity capacity. This is a fact learned the hard way. Any lay person wearing hair extensions runs the risk of looking like a reject from the Big Brother house. While we’re on the subject can we all just agree to tone down the high def make up also? We’re starting to resemble crazy lion people.
Bad balayage
Done well and it’ll totally make us look just like Gisele, right? RIGHT? (See stage 1 for further info) Done badly and it looks like you bought some of that polyester hair in Penneys, only three shades darker than your actual hair. When considering the balayage PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
Highlighting your friend’s hair using one of those crochet needles and a plastic cap with holes in
Do a good job and she looks better than us. Do a bad job and it’s a bit of a friendship deal breaker. Take it from me…. it’ll take a LOT of grovelling to come back from wrecking a friend’s hair…
Wearing no make up to the hairdressers
After an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror while the leopard-like woman (high def make up is rife in the salon world – sorry if that sounds a bit catty..ba-doom) in the tight black jumpsuit bayalages your hair you might want to go home, close the curtains, get into bed and weep while eating a box of Milk Tray. This is pretty understandable, it’s soul destroying and what is WITH the lighting in there? Remember the key to surviving the hairdressers is a full face of make up and never, EVER ask what their plans for Saturday night is.
The Perm
I’m not sure if perms have been kind of outmoded at this stage, perhaps the people in charge of hair technology have permanently removed the perm from the menu at this point, such is the almost aggressively unflattering nature of the Perm. I had a perm in 2009 and literally NOTHING good happened that year. Would-be permers turn back now before you wind up looking like Rod Stewart from the 80s or me in 2009.
The Rachel
If you were born before 1990 chances are that you have definitely brought a picture of Jennifer Aniston to the hairdressers. At one point, such was the ubiquity of this layered look that even Brad Pitt had The Rachel when he was in fact married to Jennifer Aniston. No joke see below.
NOT going to the hairdressers
Oh no, the fringe trim that I decided to embark on just moments before attending a wedding. The home-dye job of 1996 that was supposed to be pink but was in fact ORANGE and did NOT wash out in 6-8 washes but lingered on into 1997. The *shudder* DIY dreadlocks. Sure hairdressers can be lecturey, ALWAYS asking when you last had a cut in that vaguely accusatory way and micro-managing the sh*t out of the whole process always pushing the ombre or the balayage or the tortoiseshell (whatEVER random ass thing is the New Thing) but still they’re the professionals, they know what they’re doing (most of the time) and at least if a professional has scalped you you can blame THEM, scalp it yourself and you’ve only yourself to blame.
