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Life

26th Aug 2019

Blue-stalling is the frustrating dating trend that we’ve all experienced – or been guilty of

Anna O'Rourke

Tinder's most right-swiped man of 2017 is an actual model, so that's cool

Have you been seeing someone new for a while, reckon it’s going grand but feel like there’s something off?

They know your friends, practically live at your house and have opened up to you in a very couple-y way; only to avoid the idea of actually defining the relationship.

If this sounds familiar, you’re being blue-stalled.

Or maybe you’re the one who’s dodging commitment; enjoying all the perks of a fledgling relationship without ever actually having the big conversation and committing to it? Maybe the person you’re seeing has brought up putting a label on things after growing close but you balked, refusing to use the words ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’?

That, apparently, makes you a blue-staller.

Committaphobia has always existed in relationships but has been made worse thanks to dating apps, according to relationship expert James Preece.

“That’s because people are often never really clear about why they are meeting in the first place,” he told Metro.

“Are they going on a date, catching up, testing a friendship or simply hooking up? As nobody really knows it can be a confusing time and nothing ever really gets decided.”

The temptation that apps bring also makes things trickier, he says – people often wonder whether there’s something ‘better’ out there or simply enjoy the attention or thrill of the chase they get from Tinder or Bumble.

Still, we don’t think being blue-stalled means you should have to hang around waiting for someone who’s not on the same page.

If you’re fed up, let them know how you feel and if you don’t see eye to eye, it’s time to move on.