If you are guilty of constantly nagging your boyfriend to wash his hands after he kindly puts the toilet seat down (we know, wishful thinking), you might want to consider what could be lurking on his face. The bearded mob are ever-growing, with more and more men ditching the razor in favour of the grown-out look, but if men with face carpets float your boat, then be afraid. Be very afraid. An investigation by microbiologists has revealed that some beards are so full of fecal matter (yes, yes that’s poo) that they are as dirty as toilets. (*Shudder.*) Microbiologist John Golobic, of Quest Diagnostics in New Mexico, uncovered the grisly news after swabbing a number of beards searching for bacteria. “I’m usually not surprised, and I was surprised by this,” he said about the findings. “Those are the types of things you’d find in (fecal matter).” While several of the beards tested contained normal levels of bacteria, some contained so much poo that they were comparable to toilets. Although the levels aren’t enough to cause illness, the scientist explained that if the same levels were found in a water system, it would have to be shut down for disinfecting. Who has the cooties now, boys?