The fear.
Nerves are common before a first date and can continue for the initial stages of any relationship.
They're not necessarily bad either as being nervous can indicate that you like someone and want things to go well.
Once you've got past the standard questions, (usually involving family, work, and friends), it can be hard to proceed to the next stage.
With that in mind, clinical psychologist Dr.Monica O'Neal, who is a mine of information on all things relationships, has some words of wisdom.
The professional spoke to
Marie Claire about the dating game, suggesting three questions that can help you get to know your prospective partner a little better.
Here they are and although these might seem a little bit forward, Monica says these answers are ultimately what will help you decide whether you and the person you're dating are on the same page.
The first one is:
"What made you decide to ask me out?" (and if you met on Tinder), "what made you swipe right?"
Monica says that this one isn't so much about why the other person likes you but more about what made you stand out to them.
The answer can say a lot here too, you want to know if they're going to go beyond the physical and include personality traits.
"Have you been in love before and/or what kind of person do you typically fall for?"
This question won't be for everyone and I imagine you'd have to be really comfortable with someone before broaching this subject.
However, if you're looking for a serious relationship and want to figure out where the other person is at, this can tell a lot. Monica says there's "magic in this question".
"Of all your past relationships, what is the thing they complain the most about you?"
Okay YIKES. Proceed with caution here as they're almost guaranteed to turn the question back on you.
Personally, I wouldn't be asking this for a while and Monica recommends the fifth/sixth date as a good time to do so.
The expert says to watch out for people who act as if they had no faults at all and advises against going too personal or deep at the beginning.
"You don't want to go too fast, too deeply, because it's hard and vulnerable".
