Fast-forwarding: Should we be upfront when it comes to dating? 2 months ago

Fast-forwarding: Should we be upfront when it comes to dating?

Been on a date recently and never heard from the person again? You might have been subjected to fast-forwarding.

When it comes to modern dating, it feels like the list of so-called trends is endless. We've got the classics like ghosting and more recent concepts like dopplebangers and power PDA.

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Now there's a brand new trend set to dominate a post-pandemic 2022 - it's called fast-forwarding and it's all about being totally upfront.

We've heard it time and time again - communication is the key to a successful relationship. Now, some people are taking that very literally. Gone are the days of playing it cool and going with the flow. People are outlining exactly what they're looking for before they've even ordered second round of drinks.

Essentially, fast-forwarding is for people who aren't out to waste time. They're thinking about their future, and if it looks like you don't fit into it - bye.

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And it kinda makes sense. We all lost the bulk of two years to the pandemic and people are more time conscious than ever. If nothing else, being locked down at home gave us a lot of time to sit and think about what we want out of life and who we want to to share that life with.

According to Bumble, 34% of users say the pandemic has "drastically changed" what they’re looking for in a partner. Over a quarter of users say they're now caring a lot less about appearances, and instead many of us are focusing on whether a potential partner's values align with ours.

"People on Bumble are looking to discover new people, new priorities, and explore new ways of dating," Naomi Walkland, Head of Bumble UK & Ireland said.

"Changing what we prioritise in a partner, being more intentional about when we date, or just sharing the activities we love... With half of the single people looking to ‘reset'  their dating, we anticipate that coming months will be big for romance."

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So whether you're looking for commitment or a causal fling, if you know what you want, why shouldn't you lay it all out?

No, we're not encouraging you to tell your date if you want marriage and babies with them straight away (unless you want to send them running for the door). But explaining the general traits you're looking for in a partner, and what it is you want out of a relationship, has a lot of advantages.

For one, it allows you to skip the whole figuring someone out stage, as well as the dreaded the 'what are we?' phase. It also means avoiding that potentially awkward conversation months down the line - you know, the one after you both realise you're looking for very different things.

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It sounds like a no brainer - straightforwardness in the dating world would obviously save everyone a great deal of time. However, it's worth remembering that it might mean the first date is the last and things could end just as quick as they started.

But if that is the case, you can take solace in the fact that it's because their desires didn't align with yours and it probably would've happened sooner or later.

Plus there's something empowering about knowing you had the confidence to say what it was you wanted  - and this applies to all parts of life, not just dating.

The more you get into the habit of speaking up about your intentions, the easier it will be to communicate with anyone - a friend, a family member, a c0-worker, etc.

It's 2022, and it's time for us all to speak up and assert ourselves.

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