There's no in, just out.
Hands up if you've ever been with someone and it has felt as though that all the effort, conversation and hard work is entirely coming from one side of the fence.
Are you with someone who won't text you back for days on end but if they text you first, you'll drop everything and run to their side.
Or, maybe you offer to bring them on dates or to meet your family but to no avail but as soon as they want to hop into the sack or chill out and do something, they summon you to meet them. There's no asking, just telling.
This is called firedooring and you my friend, are being firedoored.
The phrase firedooring is quite smart because essentially this relationship is operated like a fire door. The other person can't get into where you are (not like they would want to anyway) but you run to them fast (like running straight at a fire door, it opens quickly.)
It's a more extreme and hurtful version of playing hard-to-get because at least when someone is playing hard-to-get, you know there are some feelings involved but with this, it can be cold and ruthless.
According to the Metro, this is how you know whether you are being firedoored or not:
- They never reply to your messages or invitations, but you always reply to theirs.
- You can’t get them to show up to a party but you’ll cancel stuff to go to their housewarming in a matter of seconds.
- They’re cold towards you when you message them, but if they get in touch they’re friendly and charming.
- If you bump into them socially they’re unfriendly, but if they’ve invited you over they act like you’re the most interesting person in the world.
- They won’t commit to any kind of future plans, even if it’s just a couple of weeks in the future.
- But when you mention not being around or that you should stop seeing each other they seem upset and act as if there’s something between you
Don't be a fire door and/or don't do any firedooring either. Just act normal, stop all the games.
