Unfortunately, we live in a world where questions over sexual consent, harassment and abuse are common everyday occurrences.
One of the biggest barriers for those who suffer from one of these crimes is the fear in reporting it to officials. Will they believe you, or will you be able to withstand the process of going to court?
One anonymous user wrote an open letter for Elite Daily, detailing her experience of bringing her stepfather to jail.
She writes:
“Coming forward was the best thing I’ve ever done, even though it has taken me years to come to terms with that. What they don’t tell you about coming forward is how long and grueling the process is. It won’t necessarily be over quickly.
I was sexually assaulted by the man I called my stepfather. It started when I was 6, and ended when I was 13.
He made me believe what he was doing to me happened to all little girls, and he threatened my mother and my sister when I realized he only spoke lies. I eventually ended up telling my mother when I was 13.”
Bringing up the subject of reporting the crime to the authorities, the writer chose to wait for a time that was right for her:
“She allowed me to make the choice of when I wanted to go to the police, which I didn’t end up doing until I was a sophomore in high school. My court process took almost four years.”
Briefly going through the process of the court trials, she adds that despite hours on the stand, the jury came back with a guilty verdict for her stepfather.
She also acknowledges that like most people, a conviction isn’t the end of her story:
“He was sentenced to three years, minus his time served in prison times one and a half (which turned out to be three years minus 160 days) because I was never penetrated.
Of course, there is more to the story. There’s always more to a story.
But I have condensed it, because what happened to me isn’t unique. It happens to more people than one can imagine, and most cases go unreported due to fear.
If I can say one thing I have learned through this whole process, it’s this: No matter how relentless the trial process may be, no matter how many times you tell yourself it would be easier to excuse yourself from this situation and avoid the pressure, no matter how many times you think to yourself, “This is unbearable and I’m giving up,” force yourself to see it through to the end.
Everything passes.
You have to choose the way you want to make it through.
You can let it defeat you, or you can choose to face it head-on like I did. I can’t say I’m a strong person, and I can admit there were many instances when I wanted to give up.
There were times I even wanted to kill myself. But after court had finished, I felt I had finally made the 6-year-old me proud.”
Sharing her experience with the online community, she leaves a very powerful message to others who have their own harrowing experience with sexual assault to keep on fighting. Although we could never understand the risk or emotional strain of experiencing this ordeal – she asks: “wouldn’t you rather go through with it, knowing you have stood up and not allowed this person to get the best of you?”
“I’m so much more than a victim; I am a survivor.
Never let anyone scare you out of being your own hero.
The court process is never foolproof, and it isn’t guaranteed to work in your favour. This means you may not win.
But wouldn’t you rather go through with it, knowing you have stood up and not allowed this person to get the best of you?
Ultimately, you have to stand up and come forward. You may not be the last person this person assaults, and in order to start the healing process, you have to allow it to happen.
Just remember: You are not weak. You are stronger than you believe.
You can be (and should be) your own hero.”
