Great (S)Expectations… Here’s The Reality of a Couple at Bedtime

In films and television shows, bedtime seems like the most romantic, idyllic time of the day but in actual fact, it's probably the least attractive, most stripped-back time of the day. Here is what bedtime for couples REALLY looks like...

---

Sleeping attire The other half may well be expecting high heels and sexy lingerie but they obviously don't know how uncomfortable a thong is to sleep in. It might look nice but it is NOT beneficial to a good night's sleep. It'd be like asking them to sleep in a three-piece suit. Comfort is key when it comes to bedtime and we will definitely be sticking to our onesies/big baggy t-shirts. Via gifsoup.com Conversations They're not flirty or sexy and there are definitely no innuendos or dirty talk. They tend to be about what happened during the day or whether we have cramps after dinner. Sleeping Positions If any couple claims that they fall asleep in a snuggled up position, they are LYING. You get all sweaty and besides, you're so tensed-up trying to sleep like that that you never actually get to sleep.  Also, anyone who wakes up like they do in the movies has clearly gotten up an hour earlier and put on loads of makeup and styled their hair. There's also the reality of the open-mouthed sleeper... Via giphy.com Drool Speaking of the open-mouthed sleeper, drool happens. The secret is to try and wipe it away before anyone notices. Space Unless you have a super king-sized bed (or two separate beds) and sleep perfectly still, there is never enough room or duvet. This can lead to wrestling in the middle of the night, "accidental" kicking and post-sleep arguments. In fact, we'd go so far as to say that we think that's probably the most common cause of fall-outs between couples. Via makeagif.com Farts We're going to break it to you, both men and women are guilty of this and the bed is the perfect place to drop them. You might think that your other half is fast asleep but be warned, fart with caution... and always keep it under the duvet. Body hair Shaving takes time and you know what, we don't always have time to do it.  Besides, if we do shave our legs, it usually means it's a special occasion and there is a chance of sexual activity. Via imgur.com Atmosphere There will be no candles, no luxurious pillows and no romantic music. There will be dirty washing in the corner (we suppose it creates a scent of sorts), the noise from your housemates or the people outside on the street and lumpy pillows. Just us? Fine... but it won't be romantic or picturesque. Beauty routine Just because there is a guy around doesn't mean we aren't going to put on our spot cream or use our inhaler. And no, we won't be leaving our retainer in the box and risking ruining our teeth for you either. We are beautiful but that takes time... and effort... and products. Via pinterest.com