When it comes to cliché break up lines, we’ve just about heard them all…
When a man decides that he is going to end things between the two of you, it is a very rare occasion that he will think of an excuse that hasn’t been used before.
Here are the 13 most irritatingly cliché lines that men have pulled out of the bag when calling time on their relationships.
Note: Lads, if you’re reading this, for the love of good God change the record!
1. “I need space/ I just prefer my own company right now”
Translation: I’m just not interested and want as far away from you as humanly possible.
Inner response: You’re a weirdo, I hope you end up alone.
2. “We’re both looking for different things…”
Translation: I really don’t want to be involved with you anymore but I do not have the balls to tell you honestly.
Inner response: But we’re both looking in the same direction!
3. “I’m not good enough for you…”
Translation: I’ve cheated/ texting someone else and do not have the heart to tell you because I’m a coward.
Inner response: No, you’re right you’re not…. Ye’ prick.
4. “You deserve someone who loves you for you”.
Translation: I think you’re great but I’m not in love with you… I know this because I really fancy the girl I met in work/pub/gym e.t.c.
Inner response: What does that even mean?!
5. “I love you, but I’m just not in love with you”
Translation: I was attracted to you once, now you just don’t do it for me.
Inner response: Shove your ‘outside’ love up your…
6. “If only we had just met in five years time”
Translation: I want to go and sew my wild oats a.k.a. sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.
Inner response: In five years time I will be so over you.
7. “It’s not you; it’s me”
Translation: I’m trying to break your heart and look like an absolute gentleman in the process, is it working?!
Inner response: Finally, something we both agree on. It’s definitely you and I want nothing to with you *insert expletive here*.
8. “I wish things were different…”
Translation: Salvaging the last bit of ‘nice guy’ rep that there’s left.
Inner response: LIAR.
9. “I like you too much…”
Translation: Why am I saying this?! This is definitely the drink talking.
Inner response: You’re full of emulsion.
10. “I’m holding you back”
Translation: I want to do just about anything other than hold you.
Inner response: Where am I going?!
11. “We’re at different stages in our lives…”
Translation: I am so much better than this.
Inner response: He thinks he’s better than me.
12. “I’m not ready for a serious relationship”
Translation: She’s too full on.
Inner response: Why do men think women want to marry them after they’ve shown the slightest bit of interest?!
13. “You’re going to make some lucky guy really happy some day… It’s just not meant to be me”
Translation: She’ll definitely fall for this one. I’ll make her look and feel good but also leave her longing after me because I’m such a nice guy.
Inner response: Pass me the bucket… puke.
