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Life

16th Jan 2018

Man receives death threats after taking his wife’s surname

“I just feel sad for these people."

Keeley Ryan

This is definitely not okay.

A man who took his wife’s surname when they got married has gotten death threats from total strangers across the globe.

Grant Phillips, née Davis, decided to take on his partner Jade’s surname when they got married late last year.

The Aussie native took to social media at the time to explain that the decision as made, in part,  because she had no brothers or cousins to continue her family name.

He wrote:

“After much time and consideration, I have made the decision to take my wife’s surname of Phillips.

“There are so many reasons as to why this is the right decision for Jade and I, not the least being that Jade is one of two girls without any cousins, and therefore their name will be lost after this generation.

“I know a lot of people have the perception that a man taking his wife’s name is somewhat emasculating… Each to their own I guess.

“I, on the other hand, believe this is a sad perspective based on an understanding of an outdated tradition which centres around ownership.

“For me, I’m honoured that Jade would like me to take her name.”

But the 30-year-old says he has received a number of abusive messages since his initial Instagram post in December.

One message, which he shared on Instagram, read:

“What sort of man takes his wife’s name?

“I hope you and your w***e of a wife die in a car crash so that your genes don’t continue.”

Grant has told how he feels “sad” for the men who have been sending him messages.

Speaking to the Daily Mail Australiahe added:

“I just feel sad for these people that they need to take the time out of their daily lives to track me down or to leave nasty comments on social media.

“The thing I have an issue with is that people think they have a right to tell me to go kill myself or to tell me to go die in a car accident or wish upon me that my wife has several miscarriages.

Missing my best mate!

A post shared by Grant Phillips (@grant87) on

“The American men, they were the most threatening but then the Australian men were just kind of, almost childish – comments like, ‘Do you wear a tampon?’

“Every single hate mail I got was from a male but the ironic thing was the men would proudly display pictures of them with their daughters on the same social media pages they used to condemn me.”

The newlywed explained that he and his wife had mutually decided he would take her surname around a year before they tied the knot last November.

But he ultimately didn’t up making the change until December, when he needed a new passport.

It was around that time that he announced his decision on social media, and the harassment started.

Wait, did she say yes? ? #engaged

A post shared by Grant Phillips (@grant87) on

And on the reason why he decided to take her name, he said:

“She’s the last line in her family.

“She has no male cousins, no one to carry on the name and it kind of made sense.

“There’s nothing tying me to having to force her to take my name. We want our kids to be able to have the same names as us.”

Grant said that his family initially supported his decision to take his wife’s surname, and even found some of the social media comments to be comical.

Last sunset @jadelphillips

A post shared by Grant Phillips (@grant87) on

But some of the comments got to be particularly brutal.

He explained:

“One person said to me, ‘This guy must have been raped by his father which is why he changed his surname’.

“My father’s on social media – obviously that’s so ridiculous and not true at all.

‘There was one comment that was pretty bad about myself and women in general and I looked at the guy’s Facebook page and I screen shot his message and actually sent it to his wife and his wife was just disgusted.

“Clearly, this guy was just living a double life online trolling people but playing happy families at home.”